Elon’s Ego Approaches Trump Level with Latest Idiocy

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Sunday, 8 January 2023

image for Elon’s Ego Approaches Trump Level with Latest Idiocy
According to the God of Everything, There Were NO Tanks in WW1

Everyone has an opinion. But when you’re stinking rich, you get to air your opinion to the world, and the world gets to reply – and you get to ignore their replies and kick them off your Twitter if they say something like “MASTODON IS BETTER THAN Twitter.”

Elon Musk will tell you who to vote for. He’ll tell you to let poor Kevin McCarthy to be the Speaker – just do it, Elon said so!

Elon will tell you all about crypto and NFTs and other hilarious things – which can sometimes be on par with the idiocy of, say, a Lauren Boebert or MTG.

Like:

"SpaceX is starting a program to take CO2 out of atmosphere & turn it into rocket fuel." [So is my breath rocket fuel?]

"I am selling almost all physical possessions. Will own no house. [...] Don’t need the cash. Devoting myself to Mars and Earth. Possession just weigh you down." [Elon suddenly gone Buddhist?]

"Kids are essentially immune, but elderly with existing conditions are vulnerable." [Elon is a doctor now … just like Bill Gates.]

"A Tesla works as a boat for short periods of time, as an electric car has no air intake or exhaust to block & battery/motor/electronics are water-sealed." [Now it’s a boat, not a car, that crashes and kills people, so your car insurance won’t help you, and if you don’t have a boat license, then the crash was your fault, not Elon’s.]

"Loans available for those who don’t have money. There will be a lot of jobs on Mars!" [No one has ever been there, but Elon will get you a job once you’re there …]

"Teslaquila coming soon..." [Elon makes tequila … do his rockets burn it for fuel?]

"Please consider this a commitment that I will fund fixing the water in any house in Flint that has water contamination above FDA levels. No kidding." [Elon will purify your water … how many lives has he saved so far? Not those who died in his cars, of course …]

"The Boring Company will be using dirt from tunnel digging to create bricks for low cost housing." [Elon has now solved the housing crisis.]

"I'm starting a candy company & it's going to be amazing. I am super super serious." [If this doesn’t smack of sarcasm … and sound like Trump wrote it.]

And didn’t he say something once about using his fortune to solve world hunger?

Well, there are more hilarious bullshit words Elon has said to get attention and make himself look sane and good-hearted, but he also said he’d vote Republican, maybe even for Trump, so what’s his word really worth?

But Elon’s latest incredible bullshit is just too good. You’d think a man this rich could afford a history book or two, and surely he knows how to read, but … well, Elon … were there tanks in World War 1?

Elon doesn’t think so. Elon knows … so we should all listen to a man who was born before history began because he wrote most of it …

… his ego is approaching Trump levels … and his IQ too.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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