I needed a bank loan but I didn’t know whether I should go to a bank or to my local mafia boss.
The mafia guy was pretty upfront about it. “If youse don’t give me my money back with interest, you’ll be sleeping with the fishes.”
I like fish, so it sounded like a good deal. (Maybe I didn’t understand the terms … but the next loan “officer” confused me even more about his terms.)
Then I went to JP Morgan to see what their deal was.
Despite saying nothing beyond “I would like to get a loan, please”, I was told to
… shut up about Jeffrey Epstein, JP Morgan never met the man and had nothing to do facilitating his Lolita Island Adventures, and he doesn’t know anyone who was on the plane, and if I kept asking questions they’d put pressure – monetary and other forms of financial terrorism – on Attorney General Denise George from the US Virgin Islands (so this is USA territory … interesting) to get fired for asking too many questions and making claims that aren’t proven ‘cuz Big Money & POWER was on the island fucking and fucking and fucking and never got caught and they don’t aim to get caught any time soon …
Visibly shaken, I went back to the mafia boss and said, “Let’s go fishing!”
