Hello, right-thinking Christian Americans … now that the GOP have a speaker with a mallet to pound and decree crazy shit … everything in the country is fine, just fine … nothing will ever go wrong on the Republican’s watch. Just forget all those pesky mass shootings and not giving money to the elderly and veterans to keep them alive … they just take and take and what do they give back? Fighting our wars for us? Those are fought by drones, silly, and drones are robots.
Are you a robot? I didn’t think so. You’re a person, a happy person, and you hate abortion and Satan and commies and drag shows. You like billionaire Grand Dragons with bad tans and baggy suits. You want to be happy at all costs, even if it’s being lobotomized by televangelists or happy drugs prescribed by your doctor and which cost 10 times more than in any other country. But it’s not about money, it’s about being happy.
So sing this song, which just might become the new national anthem, if the bill gets passed, and with all the double-dealing and back-stabbing and underhanded tricks you’d send your kids to their rooms without supper for … it probably will become the song you’re FORCED to sing.
La, la, la … a one and a two …
Happy Songs for Happy People
Happy songs
For happy people
Love is like
A church steeple
I am fun
I am gay
Why don’t we
Pray all day
Happy songs
For you and me
One and one and one
Is still three
We’re all friends
Can’t you see
She is her
And him is he
Happy songs
Are like ice cream
Let you love
Let you dream
Always smiling
Never mean
Cute as a button
Cute as a bean
Happy songs
I love them so
Don’t row backwards
Go with the flow
Smiles and sunshine
Are what you know
We love Love
‘Cuz we said so
Happy songs
Make me dance
I never try
To take a chance
Wear long dresses
Or baggy pants
Let’s go for a walk
And just hold hands
Happy songs
Is who we are
Keepin’ you shining
Like a twinkling star
Be like us
And you’ll go far
But if not
You’ll live behind bars
There, now don’t you feel happier. Now just let the doctor stick this wire hangar up your nose and pull out something the government doesn’t want you to use too much, just enough to pour coffee, hand him his golf club, wipe his ass, and vote for his party no matter how batshit crazy they are.
La la la la …
