Harry and Meghan are worried that they won’t have ROYAL MONEY coming in for their entire lives. Instead, they may have to get jobs.
Just kidding, they won’t. But they like to keep busy. Harry wrote a book about his worries, possibly called “My Struggle”, or “Mein Kampf” in the German translation, and was given a $40 billion dollar advance with a contract signed for three sequels … so he ain’t hurtin’ for cash.
And Meghan is no longer acting and won’t go back since all the other actresses would hate her guts for marrying a prince and possibly spike her coffee with meth. (Hell hath no fury – am I right, boys?)
But now they’ve thought of a great new idea! Throw rugs made out of their pubic hair!
(Shut up and take my money NOW!)
Weaving together red and black curly whirlies in a fine tapestry of love and crab lice, the new H&M Pubic Rugs will be all the rage among fans and perverts.
Get your pre-order in now, and as soon as Chinese slave labor knits together the bales of pubes into fine art and comfort, your new disgusting rug will be on your floor for you to lie on by a roaring fire, making sweet sweet love to your favourite inflatable sex doll.
Warning: Must only be washed by hand and dried by rubbing stacks of money on it.
