Bill Gates is in Australia, and the kangaroos and koalas are scared.
Since Bill isn’t just a computer geek anymore – he’s all things to all people – he has gone down under to inject a new type of serum into kangaroos and koala bears to “see how they react”.
Now animal testing isn’t new, but computer nerds are, relatively. They don’t like direct sunlight and prefer hanging out in their parent’s wood-paneled basements … the geeks, not the kangaroos. Ever shot hairspray into the eyes of bunny rabbits? Ever used hair spray? You’re all going to Hell! Choke on that ozone!
Bill will see if his serum makes these “different” animals (because they evolved far away from most other animals on this planet) go crazy, become docile and want to buy the latest shit version of Microsoft Windows, or do they become enraged and want to inject syringes into everything that moves “to see how it reacts”. Hell hath no fury like a geek who never got laid until he made enough money to pay for it.
Without animal testing, Bill can’t know how his next pandemic will go. There may be problems – like people dying mysterious, or the Chinese getting all uppity about shit (even though we haven’t heard from these people in previous decades, they got the money and the real estate now, so they own Bill and he owns America … with Elon), or some people figuring out the New World Order isn’t just an 80s band anymore.
Without people testing, Schwab can’t turn us all into crocodile Martian people who will slave to build him a pyramid higher than Cheops and his ilk.
A new pharaoh shall be born, and his name shall be … Bill!
