There were 363 spoof news stories published in December 2020. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Man Loses His Wife in a Poker Game
PRISTINA, Kosovo – (World Satire) – Pristina's TV Channel 88, reported that a neighborhood card game turned quite ugly. Four long-time friends were having their weekly poker game at the home of retired shepherd Fakulteti Ramadani. According to…
Read full storyBritish Carrots Grown in Spain found on a Tesco shelf!
(NOT EDITED) With a majestic trade deal organised by the one and only mega hypocrite, Boris Johnson, of course, kicking in from January 2021, supermarkets have been gearing up their efforts to convince Brexiteers that only British products are accept…
Read full storyMadonna Finally Gets That Gap In Her Teeth Fixed
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – LaLaLand Daily reports that, after 62 years, Madonna has finally gotten that huge gap in her teeth fixed. Macadamia Honeysuckle reported that the penny-pinching songstress, who is either loved or hated, decided to f…
Read full storyGreta Thunberg Cosmetic Surgery Rumors Untrue
Rumors of Greta Thunberg getting “green, sustainable” breast implants aren’t true. She released a statement saying she supported all people getting whatever plastic surgery they wanted, as long as it was environmentally friendly, and used no petro-ch…
Read full storyLipstick sales plummet as ageing rock star, Robert Smith of The Cure, admits he's just too old!
(NOT EDITED) Rocky Horror and Glam Rock were dead many years ago. Bands like The Sweet, Alice Cooper (Glam??), Marc Bolan and his T Rex, Kiss, Mud, Bowie and Ziggy, plus many more, have been buried into rock history, and lipstick sales plummeted.
Read full storyMegan Thee Stallion To Have Her Humongous Tits Reduced
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – It’s no secret in the entertainment world that rapper Megan Thee Stallion’s breasts are the biggest ones to come down the entertainment pike in a long time. Bravo Network's Andy Cohen has called the singer with the two…
Read full storyMore People Discovered To Be Living In Bangladesh Than In Russia
In news that will, no doubt startle some readers, and bore others to tears, it's been discovered that, despite the vast difference in the geographical proportions of the two countries, there are more people living in tiny Bangladesh than there are in…
Read full storyVenice is Planning on Seceding From Italy
VENICE, Italy - (Satire News) - Italy's national news agency, La Pizzaria, has conveyed that the city council of Venice will be voting on whether to secede from Italy or not. Venetians are reportedly as mad as a pizza maker who has run out of chee…
Read full storyCOVID-19 Vaccine Has Side-Effect Of Turning Patients Into Zombies
The rapid roll-out of the Coronavirus vaccine has continued these last few days, with millions of people anxious to protect themselves before it is too late, but analysts in London are saying there appears to be a worrying side-effect to the drug.
Read full storyThe New York Jets Fire Their Entire Cheerleading Squad
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – New York sports fans, like Boston and Philadelphia sports fans, can be downright mean and nasty when it comes to their home teams. Several years ago, Philadelphia Phillies fans booed the Easter Bunny. And, just la…
Read full storyThe Sexually-Charged Taylor Momsen is Back and With Balls
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News has just informed the entertainment world that the hard-rockin,’ vulgar-mouthed Taylor Momsen is back – and she’s back with balls and a vengeance-from-just-this-side-of-hell. Momsen had taken a 5-year hia…
Read full storyTwitter To Organise First Televised 'Twitter Spat'
Twitter is set to organise its first annual celebrity Twitter fight next October. The event, being marketed as 'Twitter Spat 2021', will be held in Las Vegas and will be televised, via pay-per-view, from the MGM Grand arena. The idea was first tou…
Read full storyMcDonalds Announces That Their Brand New McWow Burger Has 3 Amazing Ingredients
CHICAGO - (Business Satire) – The McDonalds Corporation is proud to announce their latest addition to their food menu. Sonora Cahoots, a reporter with BuzzFuzz, said she talked to the franchise’s head of new food menu items director, Suzi Tottytil…
Read full storyMaria Bartiromo Has Just Become The Most Hated Woman In America
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Many U.S. news agencies are reporting that Fox News host, Maria Bartiromo, has just become the most hated woman in America. Bartiromo, who is 53, but looks 83, interviewed President Trump, and, after she finished, s…
Read full storyYou’re A Lying, Dog-Faced One-Horse Pony Soldier
BILLINGSGATE POST: Even the horse flies won’t touch this one. Yesterday, Sleepy Joe, responding to a question concerning the investigation of his crooked son, Hunter, called the reporter “a one-horse pony.” That response, in itself, would not ind…
Read full storyA Boxer in a Wheelchair Loses a Split Decision to a Normal Boxer
BROOKLYN – (Sports Satire) – In what is being billed as the world’s first boxing match in which one of the boxers was in a wheelchair, the Willie Sambuca vs. Bobby Pistachio fight was a huge success. Flyweight boxer Willie “Wheels” Sambuca, who ha…
Read full storyCalifornia Fears That The Golden Gate Bridge Could End Up in Nevada
CARPINTERIA, California – (Satire News) - There is lots of concern in California, as earthquake experts from Left Coast College are predicting that a big earthquake could be right around the corner. According to tests being run in Japan, they fee…
Read full storyGod Says Jesus Upset His Birthday To Be Played Down This Year
God, the Supreme Being and creator of the universe and everything in it, has said that his son, Jesus Christ, is upset that his birthday on December 25 will not be celebrated with the usual fervour this year, due to Coronavirus restrictions. Chris…
Read full storyTaco Bell Has Over 1.6 Million Christmas Burritos Left
ENCHILADA LAKE, California – (Satire News) – The executives at Taco Bell are not happy with the holiday food planning department, after their festive Taco Bell Christmas Burritos promotion went over like a pair of seedless maracas. The fast food c…
Read full storyHollywood Remakes Linda Lovelace’s X-Rated Porn Classic “Deep Throat”
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – 1972 was the year that a roller-skating Sonic Drive-In car hop became the most famous porn star in the world. Linda Lovelace was chosen by producers of the X-rated movie “Deep Throat” because of her amazingly natural ac…
Read full storyExperience: the Covid Vaccine gave me a 12-inch Erection
It's certainly one in the eye for those anti-vaxxer idiots! Just imagine how they will be queuing up for it now! I’m talking, of course, of the Pfizer Covid-19 vaccine. I was one of the 20,000 volunteers given the vaccine in its trials - after a…
Read full storyVermont Outlaws Truck Testicles
SILLY SYRUP, Vermont – (Satire News) – In a move that surprised many hard core males, the Syrup State has just voted to outlaw truck testicles, or truck nuts, as they are called in the southern states. The truck gonads are attached underneath the…
Read full storyCoors To Use Drones To Deliver Beer
GOLDEN, Colorado – (Satire News) – The board of directors of the Coors Brewing Company has hit on an idea to improve on their delivery service. Board of Directors Chairman Yusif Tayrus pointed out that the test program will involve delivering up t…
Read full storyPresident Trump Is Now Blaming Space Aliens For His Loss
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – RumorLand News is reporting that President Trump is now saying that the reason for his landslide loss to Joe Biden is due to space aliens. The sad, aging man who is turning into a zombie, before our very eyes, in…
Read full storyA Man Mates With a Female Robot and Short Circuits It All to Hell
FUKUOKA, Japan – (Satire News) – The Saki News Agency is reporting that a mechanical scientist who works for Japan’s Sayonara Samurai Robot Corporation was involved in a freak accident. Wakatoshi Origami, 29, who has worked as a mechanical scienti…
Read full storyConnecticut Is Getting Into The Cocaine Business
HARTFORD – (Satire News) – After much controversy, the state of Connecticut has finally informed the media that it has voted to legalize cocaine by a vote of 74 to 7, with 19 abstaining. Senator Kingston P. Riffkit, 84, told Boom Boom News that, a…
Read full storyCounterfeit Money Gang Go Into Receivership
A gang of criminals who invested more than a million dollars in machinery and expertise they needed to get their potentially lucrative money-printing business off the ground have declared their company insolvent after a cataclysmic mistake during the…
Read full storyOld Writer Discovers Real News is New Fake News
Internationally unrenowned writer Kilroy Kovacs has announced his retirement after a long, unsuccessful career as a satire writer, in order to pursue a new career in news journalism. The fake news community reacted immediately with the same general i…
Read full storyJake Tapper Interviews Dog With Two Assholes
BILLINGSGATE POST: In an interview scheduled to be aired on Thursday, CNN’s Jake Tapper scores the first known interview of a dog with two assholes. The wily Tapper insisted that Joe Biden, along with his sidekick, Kamala “Breath” Harris, bring…
Read full storyTrump literally a turd that will not flush
It has been five weeks since the US election, and there is no doubt that Joe Biden won - unless you live in the deranged world of Donald Trump's pathetic ego. Geoff Ballcock studies presidential pipes, and spoke exclusively to TheSpoof with his an…
Read full storyBlake Shelton and Gwen Stefani Reveal a Pubic Region Secret
TISHOMINGO, Oklahoma – (Satire News) – America’s number one country music couple, Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani, recently talked to Yippee-Ki-Yay’s, Voodoo Dupree on their ranch in Oklahoma. The couple, who both appear as judges on “The Voice”, s…
Read full storyLame Duck Trump Is Illegally Selling Coronavirus Vaccines
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The FBI has just discovered yet one more business scam that Trump is involved in. Recordings made at Trump’s International Hotel, allegedly show him working out a business deal with a vaccine dealer from Detroit,…
Read full storyTrump Is Now a Sad, Sad, Pitiful, Pathetic Little Man
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Consolidated News Magazine’s Tansy Fifi Aberdeen, has just written that President Trump has morphed into a sad, sad, pitiful, pathetic little man. She added that the fact that, in four years, Trump the Chump spewed…
Read full storyElon Musk Says His New SpaceX Starship Will Be Out-of-This-World
BOCA CHICA, Texas – The industrial entrepreneur designer of the Tesla, has informed the news media that, within a few years, he will be sending passengers to the Moon. He told RumorLand News that the passenger version of his SpaceX Starship will b…
Read full storyBoris Johnson In 'Kick Me' Incident
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson is at the centre of an assault claim this morning, after he alleged that various European leaders 'ganged-up' on him after the end of the latest Brussels summit, and took turns to kick him up the bottom. Johnso…
Read full storyTaylor Swift Is Getting Her Own Reality Show
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Hollywood Vis-a-Vis has just stated that the latest celebrity to get her own reality show is singing sensation Taylor Swift. The 30-year-old, who is regarded as the sweetest, sexiest, and damn richest singer in the musi…
Read full storyJack and Diane Embroiled in Bitter Divorce
Back in 1982, John Mellencamp's little ditty about Jack and Diane went viral, transforming two small town kids into household names. But the years haven't been kind to the two American kids living in the Heartland, who recently announced their pla…
Read full storyPint of best Bitter and a bag of Cheese & Onion crisps will stop environmental destruction!
(NOT EDITED) Cows, sheep, oxen, and other herds of animals have been blamed for farting too much! Mega-tons of methane gas are released into the atmosphere causing the planet to warm up, not polluted factories, airplanes, cars, trucks, and other huma…
Read full storyKate Gosselin Says She's Getting Back With Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler
WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania – (Satire News) – iRumors has just informed its viewers that the woman who is considered the Queen of The Reality Shows, Kate Gosselin, is happier than she has been in years. Kate and Steven Tyler dated about 8 years ago,…
Read full storyMan Shops For 2021, 2022 And 2023 Christmas Presents Whilst There Are Still Shops
A man who likes to plan well in advance has revealed how he has been doing a super-excessive amount of shopping recently, not just for Christmas this year, but also for the upcoming Christmases of 2021, 2022, and 2023, whilst there are still shops in…
Read full storySnoop Dogg and Martha Stewart Open Up a Cannabis Diner
WEST HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – One of the unlikeliest couples, Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg, have just told the news media that they have just opened up a cannabis diner. The establishment will serve all kinds of marijuana menu items, from Pot…
Read full storyDonald Trump Says He'd Like To Lead 2021 Ryder Cup Team
Ousted ex-president and keen golfer, Donald Trump, has revealed that he is "very interested" in captaining the 2021 US Ryder Cup team at the rescheduled event at Whistling Straits in Kohler, Wisconsin. Irishman Padraig Harrington will captain the…
Read full storyNicki Minaj Promises Her Christmas Album Does Not Contain Any “N’ Words
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – One of the most popular rappers in America has just assured the entertainment media that her just-released Christmas album contains no "N" words whatsoever. Minaj spoke with Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo,…
Read full storyDoctors prescribe watching Manchester United instead of sleeping tablets!! ZZZZZZZZZ!
(NOT EDITED) Sleeping tablets can be addictive, cause liver damage, and by overdoses, death! Doctors worried about the abuse of sleeping tablets usage have been studying other methods of getting people to sleep, and out of their insomniac misery.
Read full storyMan At The End Of His Tether
A man who has borne the Coronavirus crisis with what seemed to others as a 'steady resolve' during unprecedented times, has revealed that his cool, calm exterior is disguising a multitude of psychological problems, and that he has had just about as m…
Read full storyAnti-Vaccine Lout Claims Vaccine Contains Chip
A news report about the UK roll-out of the Coronavirus vaccine in London earlier today, contained what is being described as a "potentially damaging theory", after a long-haired lout said he would be resisting any government orders to be vaccinated b…
Read full storyAnal Butt Boxcar- The Hidden Deadly Trend
If you hear kids talking about ABB, they probably aren’t talking about the latest rap song or internet meme. ABB is slang for a deadly new pastime. Anal-Butt-Boxcar or ABB is the latest fashion. It all started in Eastern Europe, which might as we…
Read full storySanta Claus Told To Stay At Home This Christmas
It's been announced in the last few minutes that a Coronavirus Think Tank made up of representatives from the world's leading powers has issued a strong warning to Santa Claus, telling him to stay at home this Christmas. Claus is known to be somet…
Read full storyGoya Beans Fires President Trump
SECAUCUS, New Jersey - (Satire News) – Well, 2020 has definitely not been a good year for President Trump. First, he got his ass kicked in the presidential election by Joe Biden, and now he has just been informed that Goya Beans has fired him. Boo…
Read full storyPakistani Baby Charged With Assault
KARACHI, Pakistan – (World Satire) - A nine-month-old Pakistani baby was charged with assault, after he threw a baby toy dipped in chlorozintic acid at a gas meter reader. The baby’s parents along with the baby were arrested, and taken into custo…
Read full storyA Missouri Con Artist is Arrested For Selling Fake Tsunami Insurance
JOPLIN, Missouri – (Satire News) – Police in Joplin, Missouri have taken Wally B. Haymarket into custody after receiving dozens of complaints from local residents. It appears that Wally, who stands 6-foot-10-inches tall, but weighs only 142 pounds…
Read full storyPorn Hub Makes A Big Announcement
DETROIT – (Satire News) – The company that owns the Porn Hub website, Raging Libido, Inc., is thrilled to announce that the amount of users has increased by a whopping 815%. Adele Mizzen, a spokeswoman for the porn site, told the news media that t…
Read full storyPresident Trump Puts His 2 Cents In Regarding Vanderbilt Kicker Sarah Fuller
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Sports Satire) – The President spoke with his favorite television host, Maria Bartiromo, with Fox News, and told her that, as far as he is concerned, she is the prettiest and sexiest woman on television. He pointed out that he…
Read full storyDemi Lovato Reveals What She Wants For Christmas
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Singer, Demetria Devonne Lovato, recently told Bedroom Pillow Talk’s Carolina Chipotle, that one thing for certain is that she has definitely had her share of ups and downs this year. Lovato has been in and out of rehab…
Read full storyOnly 363 Shopping Days Left To Christmas!
It may only recently have been the festive shopping and gift-giving extravaganza that is Christmas Day, but many retail outlets are already busy restocking their shelves and advertising that there's no time to waste, and that there are now only 363 s…
Read full storyExtraterrestrials Land in Iowa and Quickly Leave
CORN SHUCK, Iowa – (Satire News) – Corn Shuck’s Eye Spectator News, reports that corn farmer Moses Ripple was out rotating the crops, when he saw a weird object in the western sky. Ripple, who recently won $915 on an instant scratch-off ticket, sa…
Read full storySanta Claus Outed As The Devil
In news that will have most people questioning why they were unable to see it all along, it's been alleged that Father Christmas, the benevolent old man who delivers millions of gifts to children all over the world every December 25, has an alter-ego…
Read full storyFood Vendors Formed Around Motorcycle Accident
Sometimes, you think you've seen everything, but then you see something to make you realize you haven't, and that was exactly the case earlier today when a man who thought he had seen everything, saw something else to make him realize he hadn't. A…
Read full storySupreme Court Rules Sex Organs Can Be Used To Determine Gender
BILLINGSGATE POST: Thank God for President Trump! In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court ruled that sex organs can be used to determine one’s gender. While conventional sex theories, held sacred since Adam and Eve discovered each other's inter-joinin…
Read full storyPresident Trump Praises The Founder of the Ku Klux Klan
CRACKERHEAD, Georgia – (Satire News) - The President spoke before a crowd of 27 at a Walmart parking lot, and told them that he promises he will never, ever leave the White House, even if someone kidnaps his son, Eric. Trump, who is becoming more…
Read full story'Sour-Krauts' demand Sauerkraut is banned from German dictionary, they feel discriminated against!
(NOT EDITED) Delicious, healthy sauerkraut that rumbles up tummies, causes high-level flatulence, but has many properties which keep people healthy, has come under fire in Germany. Real 'Sour-Krauts' feel they are being discriminated against every…
Read full storyThe New NBA Season Kicked Off With Fireworks
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – The Christmas NBA season kicked off with a fabulous fireworks display in each home team’s parking lot. The world champion Los Angeles Lakers, who have had more of their players on the front of Wheaties cereal box…
Read full storyThe Company That Makes Sports Fans Cardboard Cut-Outs Is Making a Killing
EL SEGUNDO, California – (Sports Satire) – The company that manufactures sports fan cardboard cut-outs reports that it is making money hand-over-fist. CEO Barnabas Ballyhoo, with Cut-Outs Inc., told the Balls News Agency that just since the Corona…
Read full storyJennifer Lopez Apologizes For The Nude Photos
RENO, Nevada – (Satire News) – Jennifer Lopez, has just apologized to all of her fans, her family, her ex-husbands, and to her Bronx priest, Father Paco. J.Lo told Kitty Segovia, with the iNews Agency, that an unscrupulous bisexual hairstylist ma…
Read full storyGeorge Michael To Be Remembered Again At Christmas
As the world tries desperately to come to terms with the Coronavirus and all the changes it has brought to everyday life, it's fair to say that this Christmas might be one unlike any other. Shopping for presents in the High Street, if it's permitt…
Read full storyChristmas Shopping Madness in UK continues as punters ignore 2M signs! They're EU, not Brexit Imperial Britain!
(NOT EDITED) Millions of UK shoppers jamming pedestrian shopping centres in the UK in Corona pandemic times are being asked why the fuck they are ignoring common sense regulations about social-distancing. Many Christmas shopping nutters just head…
Read full storyDrones Deployed To Administer Coronavirus Vaccine
In a move described as 'madness' by detractors, drones have been fitted with syringes in an attempt to ramp up the Covid-19 vaccine rollout across the UK. The government, under increasing pressure to meet its own target of 16 billion shots per hou…
Read full storyThe Cleveland Indians Racist Name is Going To That Happy Hunting Ground in The Sky
CLEVELAND – (Sports Satire) – The Cleveland Indians organization is finally bowing to the demand from Major League Baseball, that they do away with their racist nickname. The BuzzFuzz News Agency is reporting that the ball club has used the name I…
Read full storyThe U.S. Hurricane Center Issues a Major Announcement
MIAMI – (Satire News) – The United States Hurricane Center has decided to make a change to the traditional manner of naming hurricanes alphabetically using male and female names. USHC Executive Director Frances Honeybush, 29, has stated that in th…
Read full storyJimmy Cracks Corn, Gets 20 Years
(Hambone, Alabama)–Jimmy Gadfly was sentenced to 20 years for cracking corn as if no one cared. According to witnesses, Jimmy was often observed cracking corn, and was repeatedly asked to stop, but adamantly refused. “I saw Jimmy sitting over ther…
Read full storyHarmonica Player Ingests Wasp Through Instrument
A leading harmonica player died on Tuesday evening, while playing alone at home. Neighbours, who heard the incident at around 7:30pm, say the harpist, Ray 'Curious' Wilkins, was mid way through Bob Dylan's 'The Time's They Are a-Changing' when a s…
Read full storyWater Was So Cold, Man Didn't Bother With Shower
There was much shivering and extreme reluctance to get into a shower in one household's bathroom this morning, when it was discovered that the water was cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. Seasonal cold weather in this part of sout…
Read full storyExtraterrestrial Galactic Federation Meets With President Trump
BILLINGSGATE POST: Haim Eshed, a former chief of the Israel Defense Ministry’s space directorate, says that extraterrestrials from a Galactic Federation have been in contact with him, that President Trump is aware of this, and was previously "on the…
Read full storyAnn Coulter Denies She Had Trump’s Baby
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Republican pundit and woman who looks like she’s on stilts, Ann Coulter, appeared on The Tucker Carlson Show. Ann, who some have referred to as a human tongue depressor with hair, said she’s glad Donald Trump lost.
Read full storyLeBron James Says The Los Angeles Lakers Will Be The First NBA Team to Get The C-19 Vaccine
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – LeBron James was thrilled beyond belief that his Los Angeles Lakers have been chosen by the Supreme Court to be the first U.S. sports team to receive the Coronavirus vaccine. James was told by Speaker-of-the-House Nan…
Read full storyA White House Maid Says Trump is Stealing Dishes, Silverware, Towels, and Toilet Paper
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – RumorLand News has stated that the White House senior maid, Shontella du Pompidou, has said that the President is starting to steal lots and lots of White House property. Du Pompidou, 51, who recently married a m…
Read full storySnopes Verifies Biden’s Tryst With Three Chinese Hookers On Forklift
BILLINGSGATE POST: Snopes, the same group that verified that two Russian hookers peed on Donald Trump’s hotel bed, have now confirmed that the improbable story about Joe Biden having sex with three Chinese hookers while he was driving a forklift dow…
Read full storyCOVID-19 Not All 'Doom And Gloom', Says Man
The Coronavirus, COVID-19, always gets a bad rep, and we hear, on a daily basis, about how terrible it is, and about all the negative aspects connected with it. The huge number of infections, the tragic deaths, how health services have become over…
Read full storyThe Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals #9: The Dugong
The dugong is severely uninteresting. Its name is uninteresting; its appearance is uninteresting; and, by God, everything else about it is just as uninteresting - if not more so. For a start, the name 'dugong' has a rather uninteresting ring to it…
Read full storyA Cocker Spaniel Finds a Box of Nude Photographs of Marilyn Monroe
WALLA WALLA, Washington – (Satire News) - The Seattle Exulter-Herald talked to a retired milkman, Xavier Cyclone, 67, who said that he and his dog were out in the woods, woodchuck hunting. He said his hunting dog, Puddles, a 7-year-old Cocker Span…
Read full storyLiverpool Fans Left Anfield Early 'To Avoid Traffic'
It was a landmark moment at the weekend when fans were finally allowed back into football stadiums for he first time after nine long months of Coronavirus behind-closed-doors matches, but that didn't stop some fans reverting to their normal behaviour…
Read full storyHoward Stern Says He'll Bet His Left Nut Trump is Going To Prison
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The man who is known as America’s #1 shock jock entertainer just stated on his radio show that Trump will end up wearing an orange jumpsuit, and sitting in the “Big House” by Easter Bunny Day. Howard said that he's…
Read full storyManchester United Captain Harry Maguire Chosen To Be First Recipient Of Coronavirus Vaccine
In a move that is sure to surprise many once they've been made aware of it, the Manchester United defender and captain, Harry Maguire, has been selected by the British government to be the very first recipient in the country - and, therefore, on Eart…
Read full storyThe Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals #10: The Moth
Yes, it's Tuesday once more, everyone, and time for the latest instalment in our 'popular' series about uninteresting animals. This week, I've chosen a particularly uninteresting animal: the moth. Moths are exceedingly uninteresting, but this m…
Read full storyNo-Deal Brexit: Hull and Grimsby Cock-a-Hoop while most Britons admit We Don't Give a Sh*t About Fishing
"We will be forever grateful to Nigel Farage and that one meeting he attended while sitting on the EU's fisheries committee for eight years. If he hadn't been on our side we would have been sold down the river. He fully deserves his £75,000 pa EU pen…
Read full storyMan Fired 'Gun' At Cow's Arse
A man who should probably know better at his age, has revealed how, during a motorbike ride to his place of employment this morning, he took aim with a child's plastic 'gun', and fired a tiny stone from it at a cow's behind, scoring a direct hit.
Read full storyKylie Jenner To Market Nude Bras
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – The five Kardashian sisters have been called the richest sisters in America. They have also been called the biggest big-assed sisters in America, as well. The girls have starred in three different reality shows, “Keepin…
Read full storyUruguayan greetings sensitive Brits will 'nunca comprender! What a load of 'cojones!'
(NOT EDITED) Innocent, South American footy players, earning their dosh in the UK, are mostly unaware of ultra-sensitive Brits, willing to pounce on anything they do, or say, without even understanding a single thing about South American cultures, tr…
Read full storyHospital Porter Drops Box Of COVID-19 Vaccine
As the UK roll-out of COVID-19 vaccinations got underway in London this morning, there was a hiccup almost immediately, when a hospital porter carrying a box containing 200 phials of the lifesaving vaccine stumbled and fell, dropping his load in the…
Read full storyMan Says There Is No Need For Russia To Be So Big
A casual glance cast over any world map will show the viewer the immense dimensions of the territory of Russia, with its huge wide-open tracts of land and empty spaces, and it's been claimed by one man that there is absolutely no need whatsoever for…
Read full storyExperience: I was sexually assaulted by Margaret Thatcher
It was the heady days of the early 1980s when Thatcherism was in its heyday and the Iron Lady was riding the crest of a wave having won the Falklands War and her second election. I was a new boy, a spad, that’s a special adviser, seconded from Co…
Read full storyTrump To Pardon Children In Cages
In a move that will warm the very cockles of the heart of every single reader, as well as countless millions of his own supporters who just knew this day must come, President Donald Trump has decided to pardon all the children being held in cages alo…
Read full storyBoris asks the public for help with his password
Since his sinister adviser Dominic Cummings has gone, Boris Johnson's buffoonery has been allowed to romp unchecked. Numerous incidents in recent days have raised alarm among the PM's handlers. First, he posted a photo of his testes on Twitter, mi…
Read full storySupermarket Customer Challenged About Face Mask
A female supervisor working in a supermarket who challenged a male customer over his non-wearing of a face mask, was left wishing she hadn't bothered this morning, when the customer reacted somewhat angrily by scowling and storming out, telling her h…
Read full storyBBC Tampering With Song: Man To Say The Word 'Faggot' Every Day Until Christmas
The BBC's tampering with the words of The Pogues' Christmas classic song, 'Fairy Tale Of New York', in order to pander to snowflakes, has got one man so angry, that he's claimed he will say the word 'Faggot' every day until Christmas. And possibly…
Read full storyDukes Of Hazzard Lost 'Lynching' Episode Discovered
Little Rock, Arkansas - A sub shop in Little Rock, traded three meat-lovers subs, for what turned out to be the only known copy of a lost pilot episode of '80s TV smash hit, The Dukes Of Hazzard. The episode, which die-hard Dukes fans refer to as…
Read full storyFootball Show Host Made Schoolgirl Error
There were cases of stifled laughter and sideways glances in a TV studio earlier this evening, and viewers at home had to pinch themselves, when the female host of True Visions Live Matchday Extra football programme made a schoolboy error when she re…
Read full storyThe United Nations Says Russia Will Not Get Any C-19 Vaccines
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The Secretary General of the United Nations, Antonio Guterres, has announced that Russia will not receive any Coronavirus vaccines when they become available. He stated that the UN’s 193 sovereign country members ha…
Read full storyMan Finds Out He Is Going To Have To Do The Same Amount Of Work, For 40% Less Money
There was a nasty surprise in store for one man last week, when a meeting with his supervisor alerted him to the fact that, for the forseeable future, he is going to have to do exactly the same amount of work he usually does, but will be paid only 60…
Read full storyFive University of Texas Players Test Positive For COVID
AUSTIN - (Sports Satire) - Dottie Bazooka, with Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine has informed her readers that the entire defensive line for the Texas Longhorns are out with the Coronavirus. Longhorns Coach, Tom Herman, said that, at first, the t…
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