WALLA WALLA, Washington – (Satire News) - The Seattle Exulter-Herald talked to a retired milkman, Xavier Cyclone, 67, who said that he and his dog were out in the woods, woodchuck hunting.
He said his hunting dog, Puddles, a 7-year-old Cocker Spaniel, suddenly starting pointing to a big shiny rock the size of Attorney General Bill Barr.
When Mr. Cyclone got closer, he could see a piece of metal protruding from underneath the rock.
After about 35 minutes of digging, he came upon a green strongbox. He could see that the lock had long-since rusted away.
When he opened the box, he found 49 nude photos of the 1950s sex symbol, Marilyn Monroe.
He quickly called up the man who knows everything about everyone, Andy Cohen, with the Bravo Network.
Cohen soon put him in touch with the leading Marilyn Monroe memorabilia collector in the country, Ferguson Daisydust, who just recently turned 101.
Mr. Daisydust, said that the naked photos of Monroe were worth $8.3 million.
The photos were put on Craig’s List, where they were purchased, within 35 seconds, by former President Jimmy Carter, 96, who is believed to be the biggest and oldest Marilyn Monroe fan in the world.