CARPINTERIA, California – (Satire News) - There is lots of concern in California, as earthquake experts from Left Coast College are predicting that a big earthquake could be right around the corner.
According to tests being run in Japan, they feel that a 7.3 magnitude earthquake could strike the Carpinteria area sometime between now and Valentine's Day.
Osaka, Japan, earthquake expert, Dr. Kenzo Kawasaki, 91, has stated, on several occasions, that he fears the Golden Gate Bridge could possibly end up in Nevada.
Several residents of Carpinteria have reported that poodles and Persian cats are suddenly getting nervous as hell, and some are even meowing and barking non-stop, which is a sign of a possible impending earthquake, within a 63-mile radius.
A petting zoo in Sausalito is reporting that the chickens and the rams are refusing to be petted, which experts say is a surefire sign of an approaching 'Shaker', as atheists refer to earthquakes.
Meanwhile, Japanese experts in Osaka are saying that it is not 'rerry rooking' too good.
