VENICE, Italy - (Satire News) - Italy's national news agency, La Pizzaria, has conveyed that the city council of Venice will be voting on whether to secede from Italy or not.
Venetians are reportedly as mad as a pizza maker who has run out of cheese.
The reason being, that the Italian government has informed the city mayor that he needs to make much-needed repairs to the Venice Canal System, that will cost US$10 million.
National inspectors say that there are places in the canal walls where one could hide an official NFL football.
Meanwhile, Italian President Sergio Mattarella has threatened to send in the Italian navy, and they will proceed to drain every canal within the city.
The President added that he will also incarcerate any Venetian citizens over the age of 80, who call him Pizza Face.
When told by the mayor that this was highly unethical, Mattarella told him that he has his 'highly unethical' as he pointed to his crotch region.