Santa Claus Outed As The Devil

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 20 December 2020

image for Santa Claus Outed As The Devil
Satan has left his hat at the gate, whilst he 'attends to business'

In news that will have most people questioning why they were unable to see it all along, it's been alleged that Father Christmas, the benevolent old man who delivers millions of gifts to children all over the world every December 25, has an alter-ego - Beelzebub, or the Devil.

Christmas, whose age hasn't been established, is a lazy, old man who sits all year doing nothing, apart from promoting greed and covetousness, and then gets busy for a month, before taking another 11-month break.

Also known as 'Santa', this name bears a striking resemblance to 'Satan', and both use another similar name - Saint Nick, by Santa, and Old Nick, by Satan - and have done so for centuries, without ever raising suspicions that they might be one and the same.

Further 'evidence' is that both dress in red, and have a 'loose connection' with religion.

Tradition has it that Santa lives in a remote location, in a house that is kept warm with roaring fire, as does the Devil, and the similarities between the two are so pronounced, says local man, Myke Woodson, that the pair MUST be the same entity.

Woodson, 57, of Oaf-on-Sea, said:

"It's plain to see. Satan spends all year encouraging children to be naughty, then Santa rewards them with a bag of coal. It's the ultimate deception! It's also known that Satan is a bit of a philanderer, and that ties in with the tales of 'mummies kissing Santa'. The sooner people wake up and start to realise this, the better."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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