Man Finds Out He Is Going To Have To Do The Same Amount Of Work, For 40% Less Money

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 20 December 2020

image for Man Finds Out He Is Going To Have To Do The Same Amount Of Work, For 40% Less Money
It sucks everything in, even salary

There was a nasty surprise in store for one man last week, when a meeting with his supervisor alerted him to the fact that, for the forseeable future, he is going to have to do exactly the same amount of work he usually does, but will be paid only 60% of his normal remuneration.

Ernest Schmaltz, who plies something at a local place of learning, was left seething at the news, which was announced after bosses met to discuss the ongoing second COVID-19 lockdown, and its implications for the organization's profits.

Tuition fees have remained as they were, despite students having to learn online at home.

Likewise, senior management members' salaries will have been unaffected.

A slackening-off in student numbers has resulted in a fall in revenue, and, although teachers still have to teach classes, and their workloads are still the same, 40% of their income has disappeared into an 'impenetrable black void', from whence - like light from a black hole - it cannot escape.

Other workers were given the same news, and the concensus of opinion seemed to be that the establishment was 'taking the piss'.

Schmaltz said:

"I'm tempted to say I'll just do 60% of my work, but what's 60% of nothing?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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