WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Sports Satire) – The President spoke with his favorite television host, Maria Bartiromo, with Fox News, and told her that, as far as he is concerned, she is the prettiest and sexiest woman on television.
He pointed out that he wants to dispel the rumors that he is always cutting down women because of the fact that he’s gay.
POTUS, asked Maria if he looked gay to her. She licked her lips, and replied that he is the most handsome man that she has ever seen, including George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Terry Bradshaw.
She then asked the President to comment on Vanderbilt kicker and first female to play in a collegiate game, Sarah Fuller.
Trump shook his head, and said that, to be honest, in his opinion, Sarah had no damn business being out on the football field, because she is taking the kicking position of a very deserving male player.
He noted that her kickoff kick only went 9 yards. He laughed, and said that his sexy-as-hell daughter, Ivanka, could kick the pigskin that far wearing a French-cut sheer teddy from Victoria's Secret.
Bartiromo informed the President that, due to the extreme publicity that Miss Fuller has received, she has been offered half-a-dozen secretarial jobs.
When Sarah Fuller was told about Trump’s comments, she made a face, and said that, if she ever sees the orange sexual predator out on the street, she’ll kick him in his ass so hard, his underwear will end up hugging his duodenum.