Anti-Vaccine Lout Claims Vaccine Contains Chip

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 8 December 2020

image for Anti-Vaccine Lout Claims Vaccine Contains Chip
Left: looks like he already has COVID-19. Right: defiant

A news report about the UK roll-out of the Coronavirus vaccine in London earlier today, contained what is being described as a "potentially damaging theory", after a long-haired lout said he would be resisting any government orders to be vaccinated because, he said, it's got a chip in it.

The man, who looked about 25, and had one of those hairstyles that is best described as long and greasy, with a high-forehead middle parting, was asked by a female reporter from Deutsche Welle, Charlotte Summat-O'rother what his thoughts were about the speed with which the vaccine has been developed and made available.

He said with misplaced assurance:

"I'm not having it. I've done my research, yeah? The vaccine ... there's a chip in it."

The reporter stifled a laugh.

She asked the buffoon where he'd done his 'research'. He replied:

"YouTube. And Facebook."

Passers-by could be heard giggling.

The government, however, say it's no laughing matter, and are planning a public relations campaign to promote the vaccine amongst doubters and detractors.

Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who was on hand to see the first UK vaccination administered to a 90-year-old woman, said:

"That's ridiculous! There are no chips in the vaccine. Is it likely that I'd lie?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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