Pint of best Bitter and a bag of Cheese & Onion crisps will stop environmental destruction!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 7 December 2020

image for Pint of best Bitter and a bag of Cheese & Onion crisps will stop environmental destruction!
At last, we moo moo's are not going to be blamed for environmental destruction!

(NOT EDITED) Cows, sheep, oxen, and other herds of animals have been blamed for farting too much! Mega-tons of methane gas are released into the atmosphere causing the planet to warm up, not polluted factories, airplanes, cars, trucks, and other human inventions!

Scientists in Leicester, UK, decided to study this unproven phenomenon in a bid to prove to vegans, and non-meat eaters, that farmers and Shepard's, who own livestock for meat production, are not Satan!

However, the study took a strange change of direction after the scientists involved decided to have several pints of best English bitter in a local Leicester boozer with several bags of Cheese and Onion crisps, among other varieties.

Intense, rear-end flatulent disturbances occurred, which are quite normal in these circumstances. One of the scientists, who was continually farting, had a methane measurement device in his back pocket. He discovered that a mixture of English best bitter beer, and crisps, causes farting, but it does not produce any methane gas at all! Hallelujah! This could solve global warming and destruction of the environment! Luckily, this discovery came after he over there in the White House was dumped otherwise, he would claim he was the master-mind behind the study!

A giant, global crisp producer (Who shall remain nameless, but Gary Lineker knows them), and Brit breweries, are now producing millions of tons of the mix for animal fodder.

Cows, sheep, and other livestock, not pigs, they turned their noses up at it, are being fed this new mix, and after intensive testing the air above Leicester has become pristine clean. It still stinks, but never mind!

Vegans and Veggies are not happy about the result, but at least the 'bubble' they live in will have clean air. As for the livestock, getting pissed on a daily basis is quite pleasant, Moo, Moo, Baa, Baa, Burp!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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