CORN SHUCK, Iowa – (Satire News) – Corn Shuck’s Eye Spectator News, reports that corn farmer Moses Ripple was out rotating the crops, when he saw a weird object in the western sky.
Ripple, who recently won $915 on an instant scratch-off ticket, said he had left his binoculars back at his farmhouse, but could clearly see that the object looked like a big coffee saucer dish.
As the dish got closer, he hid behind his John Deere tractor. While he sat in amazement, he saw the space vehicle land, and a door opened.
He told the reporter for Eye Spectator News, that, all of a sudden, he saw three little weird-looking, two-foot tall figures, dressed in fuchsia jumpsuits.
The extraterrestrials were helmet-less, and Ripple described them as looking like miniature versions of Ann Coulter, the pencil-thin-looking GOP pundit.
Ripple said that the three space munchkins looked around and saw acres and acres of corn. One of them put a corn cob to his ear. He quickly threw it down.
He then murmured something to this two cohorts, and the three quickly boarded the spaceship and took off.
An expert on extraterrestrials, who is a science professor at Johnny Appleseed University in Indianapolis, remarked that he has learned that 40% of all extraterrestrials are allergic to corn.
