It's certainly one in the eye for those anti-vaxxer idiots! Just imagine how they will be queuing up for it now! I’m talking, of course, of the Pfizer Covid-19 vaccine.
I was one of the 20,000 volunteers given the vaccine in its trials -
after all, who doesn’t want to do their bit for science when there’s a pandemic threatening the human race? Let’s face it, I’m not Dominic Cummings or Rita Ora. It all went well, and, after a while, I had antibodies, and I was proud, yes, proud, of my contribution.
Then, a week or so after my last test result, I developed what can only be called, in medical terms, extreme priapism. Extreme in that, it was constant and way over my usual average size - twice in fact -
and my normal six inches became an eye-watering twelve inch mammoth. When I told her what had caused it, my missus didn’t believe me, and found it hard to take in. It was eye-watering, because for relief from the constant discomfort, I had to have sexual congress with her almost every hour, on the hour, even when she was asleep, and she didn’t appreciate that. Well, not every time, and, after a week or so, she was getting quite irate with me.
It was embarrassing. In my local Lidl, at Tooting Bec, I was even asked by an eastern European lady if she could give me a hand, and I am sure she didn’t want to help me with my shopping. I was also asked to leave Aldi in Balham, as some male customers had complained that their wives were following me around the store.
My wife said she was exhausted, and suggested that I should get a girlfriend to help her with her nuptial duties, so I signed up to a dating website Big Dicks 4 U, and, after posting a selfie, I was inundated with offers.
I have to say, that some of the ladies on there are insatiable, which is just as well. I'm getting fatigued now though, and I've lost a couple of stone in weight, but it has had a financial benefit. I've got sponsorship from Durex, which is saving me loads of money, and, apart from a small fee, I get all the condoms I need for free.