RENO, Nevada – (Satire News) – Jennifer Lopez, has just apologized to all of her fans, her family, her ex-husbands, and to her Bronx priest, Father Paco.
J.Lo told Kitty Segovia, with the iNews Agency, that an unscrupulous bisexual hairstylist managed to take explicit photos of her as she was getting a Brazilian bikini wax in her dressing room at the Sacajawea Hotel and Casino, in Reno, Nevada.
The Puerto Rican firecracker expressed how embarrassed she was, and vowed to have the hairstylist arrested, and prosecuted under Nevada's Unauthorized Vaginal Photographing Law of 1999.
Meanwhile, J.Lo’s fiancé, New York Yankees great Alex Rodriguez, commented that, if the hairstylist was a man, he’d grab one of his Hillerich & Barnes baseball bats, and have a nice, long talk with the pervert.
TMZ is reporting that the few who have seen the naked photos say that the 51-year-old Jennifer's va-jay-jay looks way damn more sexy than the beavers of most of the women half her age.
