SECAUCUS, New Jersey - (Satire News) – Well, 2020 has definitely not been a good year for President Trump. First, he got his ass kicked in the presidential election by Joe Biden, and now he has just been informed that Goya Beans has fired him.
Boom Boom News reports that Goya Bean Company CEO Robert Unanue terminiated Trump’s job as company spokesperson; a job that paid DJT $18 million a year.
When asked by BBN reporter Chipper Caruso why he was firing the President, Mr. Unanue said that there were about a dozen damn good reasons.
He explained that the main one is that Trump has become crazier than shit, with his ridiculous rantings about how he really won, and how Joe Biden voted for himself over 9,000 times.
Unanue said when he talked to Trump on the phone, and informed him that he was being fired, Trump started crying like the pussy he has turned into. He told Unanue that, if he fires him, he will have him deported back to Russia.
When told that he was born in Spain, Trump said he didn’t give a shit, and pointed out that he would personally have Rudy Giuliani drive him back to Russia.
BBN has learned that Melania has admitted that her husband lost the election, and so have his two sons, goofy Eric and dopey Don Jr.
Meanwhile, Melania says that she is as happy as a prostitute with two pussies that her husband lost.