Christmas Shopping Madness in UK continues as punters ignore 2M signs! They're EU, not Brexit Imperial Britain!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 15 December 2020

image for Christmas Shopping Madness in UK continues as punters ignore 2M signs! They're EU, not Brexit Imperial Britain!
Masses of them shopping until they are dropping! Well, many will soon be dropping like dead flies!

(NOT EDITED) Millions of UK shoppers jamming pedestrian shopping centres in the UK in Corona pandemic times are being asked why the fuck they are ignoring common sense regulations about social-distancing.

Many Christmas shopping nutters just head towards centres and really do not give a 'whoop' about Corona regulations because most Brexit Brits, since Brexit, believe they are invincible and immune to anything foreign!

Jaggedone, astonished at the ignorance of Brit punters, decided to send his fav shop-till-you-drop reporter, Louis Vuitton-Armani, down Oxford Street, London, to find out why on earth people are jammed alongside each other, many not wearing masks, and certainly not keeping 2-meter distances!

Here are Louis's remarkable findings after listening to shoppers babbling among each other:

Group of teeny sneaker, hoody wearers: "Well, like, what the fuck is the fuss all about man, I just nicked a pair of Nike, $200,00 sneakers out of JB sports, cool! Crowds of non-social-distance punters in shops make it so fucking easy, man!"

OAP pair shopping for grandchildren: "I forgot my mask Reggie, does it matter?" "No, Mildred love, just keep your mouth shut and stop breathing!" He wishes!

Family with five nippers shopping in a toy shop: "Now my little darlings, don't go and sit on Father Christmas's lap, he might have Corona, and don't touch any toys, other kids with corona might have touched them too!" One Kid answers, "But my mate in my class has Corona mum, does that mean we all have it?" Mum faints, dad faints, and the kids run off to sit on Father Christmas's lap!

However, Louis discovered the most plausible reason why Brit punters are ignoring all warnings, especially signs hanging on every lamppost along UK shopping streets:

"WARNING KEEP 2 M DISTANCE!"

Groups of shoppers were overheard saying, "We left the poxy EU and I really cannot understand why local councils are hanging up signs in metric, after all, we are Brits and want our Jurassic-Imperial-System back because we are a satellite state of the USA, and certainly not the damn EU! These signs are illegal now we are an independent, imperial, sovereign nation, so fuck em, we'll shop until we drop because we Rule The World with the US!"

Jaggedone's final thought: "I guess many shoppers will 'drop' after Christmas, hopefully it's not such a 'painful, breathless drop!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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