Anal Butt Boxcar- The Hidden Deadly Trend

Funny story written by Harry Klondike

Sunday, 13 December 2020

image for Anal Butt Boxcar- The Hidden Deadly Trend
Angry bored teen

If you hear kids talking about ABB, they probably aren’t talking about the latest rap song or internet meme. ABB is slang for a deadly new pastime.

Anal-Butt-Boxcar or ABB is the latest fashion. It all started in Eastern Europe, which might as well be located across town thanks to the internet. Bored teenagers in Belarus started smoking through their rectums as a joke back in 2017. With the new COVID-19 lockdown, lots of teens have become as bored as those in Eastern Europe, leading to an epidemic of a new kind - anal smoking.

This is a problem, because nicotine is absorbed differently through the anal lining than it is in the mouth or lungs. It can be more addictive (though more research is needed), it increases the chances of developing anal cancer, and it can potentially reverse the downward trend in tobacco use in teens it’s not stopped.

Gloria Stein, a psychologist specializing in teen sexuality and bestselling author of (Your Kids Are Fucking - GET OVER IT!), offered this advice;
1. Be clear and accepting with regards to sex.
2. Have a frank and detailed conversation about every type of sex act covered in my book.
3. Let them know that you love them no matter what, which is why you want them to have a rectum that doesn’t smell like an ashtray.
4. Avoid talk of death and cancer, because it will not resonate with them - just focus on anal sex and let them know that in order to have a healthy love life, there is no room for cigarettes period - the end!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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