Boris Johnson In 'Kick Me' Incident

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 25 December 2020

image for Boris Johnson In 'Kick Me' Incident
Boris Johnson's back, earlier

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson is at the centre of an assault claim this morning, after he alleged that various European leaders 'ganged-up' on him after the end of the latest Brussels summit, and took turns to kick him up the bottom.

Johnson, who had just celebrated securing the best Brexit deal Britons could possibly have hoped for, claims that EU chief nehotiator Michel Barnier, French president Emmanuel Macron, German leader Angela Merkel, and a host of other 'Eurobullies' launched a sustained attack on him that has resulted in rectal agony, as well as bruised cheeks, and a red face.

The astonishing antics of the villains seems to have started after an unknown assailant placed a piece of paper on Mr. Johnson's back, affixed with sticky tape, that read:

"Kick me."

A queue formed near Johnson, and, when impatience got the better of those in it, a mad scuffle took place. All that could be seen by onlookers was a 'ball of dust' with arms and legs poking out of it, in cartoon fashion.

Eventually, the melée died down, and Mr. Johnson was led away grinning, and holding two fingers up in the 'V for victory' sign.

Later, a statement was read out by Mr. Barnier, which included the phrases "booted out" and "good riddance".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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