'Sour-Krauts' demand Sauerkraut is banned from German dictionary, they feel discriminated against!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 14 December 2020

image for 'Sour-Krauts' demand Sauerkraut is banned from German dictionary, they feel discriminated against!
Soon to become an expensive, combustible, delicatesse in the UK, sauerkraut, now called Deutsche-Kraut + tariffs

(NOT EDITED) Delicious, healthy sauerkraut that rumbles up tummies, causes high-level flatulence, but has many properties which keep people healthy, has come under fire in Germany.

Real 'Sour-Krauts' feel they are being discriminated against every time they see packages of this glorious vegetable lying in supermarkets. A lobby of 'Sour-Krauts' has sent Angie Merkel a protest letter demanding German supermarkets change the name.

Giant discounters, Lidl, and Aldi, reacting to the protest, decided to remove all packets of sauerkraut, and re-label them. Other traditional German supermarket chains, Edeka and REWE, are more reluctant to remove such a cult product and give it a more upbeat name just to satisfy real 'Sour-Krauts' who moan about everything anyway!

Angie Merkel has asked the EU to intervene, she is hoping they come up with a solution. In the interim real 'Sour-Krauts' are organising national protest marches, with masks and social distancing. It will be called the "S-K-L-M-Movement" because it certainly moves bowels and matters They also believe social-distancing should be upheld in a natural manner because after consuming sauerkraut farting is inevitable. Hence, any relation between sauerkraut and real 'Sour-Krauts' will obviously be discriminate against them because farting is socially unacceptable!

Several suggestions from Lidl and Aldi have been put forward for a new name and here are just a couple:

Bowel-Kraut / Bog-Kraut / Red-Hot-Ring-Kraut / Po-Kraut / Happy-Belly-Kraut / Flatulent-Fire-Kraut, plus a couple of others.

The EU have decided to call simple German sauerkraut, 'Choucroute', which helps Merkel and Macron unite in 'blowing-off' the UK out of their exclusive club, fishing waters, and is non-discriminative. A win-win!

Sales of sauerkraut have rocketed in the UK before they leave the EU because taking the piss out of German humour is a British favourite hobby, and farting like Henry Eighth in public is too. However, they needed an efficient German product to heat up the rear-end, and it will soon become too expensive, so better stock up now!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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