The Sexually-Charged Taylor Momsen is Back and With Balls

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 22 December 2020

image for The Sexually-Charged Taylor Momsen is Back and With Balls
Taylor says she and Miley Cyrus wrote the song for her just released video, "My G-Spot is Restless."

HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News has just informed the entertainment world that the hard-rockin,’ vulgar-mouthed Taylor Momsen is back – and she’s back with balls and a vengeance-from-just-this-side-of-hell.

Momsen had taken a 5-year hiatus from the world of grunge rock to concentrate on her acting career.

During the time she was away from the heavy metal rock scene, the 27-year-old rocker, who looks like a cross between Kayleigh McEnany and Julianne Hough, starred in several reality shows, including; “The Orgasmic Chix of Oxnard”, “Sherry Loses Her Cherry”, and most recently “The Housewives of Intercourse Pennsylvania".

Taylor told Hacienda Fiddle, with BBN, that, at times, due to several unnamed addictions, she found herself working to make ends meet as a telemarketer for Preparation H, a bikini panties model for J.Lo Brand Underwear, and as a scantily-clad waitress at IHOP.

Momsen says she and her band, The Restless Roamers, plan to go on a concert tour of the Left Coast in April of 2021. She has already booked Southern California heavy metal band Tarzan and The Tarzana Vineyard Vampires to be her opening act.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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