Vermont Outlaws Truck Testicles

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 12 December 2020

image for Vermont Outlaws Truck Testicles
The truck testicles closely resemble the nuts on this Simmental breeding bull.

SILLY SYRUP, Vermont – (Satire News) – In a move that surprised many hard core males, the Syrup State has just voted to outlaw truck testicles, or truck nuts, as they are called in the southern states.

The truck gonads are attached underneath the truck's rear bumper, and they dangle pretty much like human balls do.

Senator Nanette Twaddle, (R-Vermont), who led the move to ban the truck scrotum, stated that the realistic balls first became very popular in Fort Worth, Texas. They were first sold at Bubba & Bubba’s Auto Supply Store.

In the beginning, the truck nuts were merely sold as a novelty item, but after the Bubbas started selling an average of 93 a day, they started marketing them as Vehicular Vanity Accessory Nuts.

The dangling scrotum became a symbol of manhood and extreme masculinity for the driver.

They are even sold in Mexico under the name of Las Bolas Chingonas.

Within weeks, the Bubbas were shipping their truck nuts to every state in the union, as well as to Mexico, Central America, and Switzerland.

Everyone loved the novelty scrotum, but, for some reason, men and women in Vermont did not embrace the truck testes, like folks in Arkansas, Oklahoma, Mississippi, and Alabama did.

Bubba Flutter and Bubba Buckbox, the owners, simply figured that the men in Vermont possibly weren’t into manhood as much as the males in the other 49 states.

The Vermont senate outlawed the dangling scrotum by an overwhelming vote of 93-7.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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