WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – RumorLand News has stated that the White House senior maid, Shontella du Pompidou, has said that the President is starting to steal lots and lots of White House property.
Du Pompidou, 51, who recently married a man half her age, said that she had seen Trump get a burlap bag and fill it with things like dishes, silverware, towels, toilet paper, and even frozen rib-eye steaks.
She even noted that when the President saw her watching him stealing the steaks, he told her that he was going to have his chauffeur drive him to a poor black neighborhood nearby, to pass the steaks out to deserving black kids.
Shontella, who herself is black, looked him in the eye, and said, “Don’t cha be shitting me, loser. I heard you on the kitchen phone earlier telling your sweetheart Hope Hicks, that you were going over to her apartment, and that you were bringing steaks and a bottle of El Matador Tequila.”
“You’re fired!” Trump screamed out like a high school cheerleader. And he then added, that he was sending her back to Mozambique.”
“I was born in Kalamazoo, Michigan, you orange-lookin', racist bitch!”