God Says Jesus Upset His Birthday To Be Played Down This Year

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 23 December 2020

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Jesus being Jesus

God, the Supreme Being and creator of the universe and everything in it, has said that his son, Jesus Christ, is upset that his birthday on December 25 will not be celebrated with the usual fervour this year, due to Coronavirus restrictions.

Christmas Day is being 'scaled-down' this year, with families being severely restricted on who they can visit, and the size of their gatherings, in an attempt to limit new infections of COVID-19.

The virus does not recognize public holidays, even those which are religious in nature, and presses on ahead with its important work, which is to totally destroy everything in its path, regardless of which 'god' it worships.

Normally at this time of year, many people are getting blind drunk and stuffing themselves to the gills with enormous, overpriced works' Christmas dinners, and rushing around the stores for last-minute unwanted gifts for people they don't really like, but government rules have forbidden this madness

God says this has left Jesus feeling unimportant, deserted, and forsaken. He said:

"Well, you know, he's feeling it at the moment. Like any other religious deity, he doesn't like being undermined, and this Covid fellow is stealing his limelight - and on his birthday, for Heaven's sake!"

And, He added:

"You know what he's like!"

Jesus was unavailable for comment, sulking in his bedroom, and playing on his Xbox.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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