There were 247 spoof news stories published in February 2021. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
The World’s First Transgender Sumo Wrestler Gets Her Ass Kicked
KAGOSHIMA, Japan – (Sports Satire) – The Saki-Saki News Agency has stated that the world’s first transgender wrestler, Yamaha Wasabi, 37, has lost for the first time in her 12-month career. Wasabi, who weighs a whopping 521 pounds, was clobbered b…
Read full storyTiger Woods Seriously Hurt In Masturbation Accident
The world of professional golf was on tenterhooks tonight, after the former world number one player, Tiger Woods, was reported to have been admitted to hospital in a critical condition after being seriously injured whilst 'spanking his monkey'. Wo…
Read full storyTed Cruz Has Been Banned From All Taco Bells
GUCAMOLE GROVE, Caifornia – (Satire News) – The news media is reporting that the Taco Bell board of directors has just voted 27-1 to ban Ted Cruz from getting within 75 feet of Taco Bell property. Board member Antonio Lopez de San Saludos, remarke…
Read full story#DeleteFacebook! Facebook Group Deleted
A Facebook Group created calling for a boycott of Facebook after it took the extraordinary step of banning users in Australia from accessing news in a row over paying for content, has been deleted, by Facebook. 'Delete Facebook', 'Boycott Zuckerbe…
Read full storyTrees Not Quite So Green This Year
It may be global warming, climate change, or environmental change, it could be any two of these, or even all three of them, but something is happening out in the sticks, claims one man who says that, in his neck of the woods, at least, the trees aren…
Read full storyQatar Airlines Considering Namechange
Consistently one of the world's leading and top-performing airline carriers over the past two decades, Qatar Airlines is considering a namechange after several passengers became confused about the unusual spelling of the word 'Qatar' when completing…
Read full storyCristiano Ronaldo To Wear Leather Thong Under His Shorts
Cristiano Ronaldo, for years, the pin-up boy of European football, is in the news again this week, after he announced on social media that, from next week, he will start to wear a black leather thong underneath his football shorts. The Juventus s…
Read full storyMajor League Baseball Bans Sunflower Seeds In The Dugouts and On The Playing Fields
NEW YORK CITY - (Sports Satire) – After years and years of many players asking that Major League Baseball stop the archaic practice of allowing players, coaches, umpires, and bat boys to partake in sunflower seed spitting, things will be changing.
Read full storyElon Musk’s New Planetary Telescope is The Most Powerful in The World
HOUSTON, Texas – (Satire News) – The richest man in the world, Elon Musk has just developed the amazing Musk Busybody Planetary Telescope, which he has nicknamed "Ringo". The entrepreneur, who is the father of the Tesla, the SpaceX Starship, and…
Read full storyFace Mask Blown Off Face By Strong Gust Of Wind
There was surprise and not a little anger in one locality this morning, as the progress of a man strolling through the streets minding his own business was suddenly arrested when a strong gust of wind blew his face mask from his face, and onto the pa…
Read full storyMan Defers Wank For Another Time
A Fort Lauderdale man postponed a highly anticipated wank after realizing that he ran the risk of getting caught in the act by either his wife, his daughter or the guy who 'does the garden'. The man, whose identity cannot be revealed, had planned…
Read full storyJeff Bezos and Elon Musk Form Bezos-Musk Inc.
AUSTIN, Texas – (Satire News) – The two richest men in the world have just joined forces to form what pundits are calling a super-colossal company. Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk recently met at the Buckaroo Bunkhouse Barbecue Restaurant in Austin, wher…
Read full storyOceanic Scientists Discover That The Bermuda Triangle is Really a Trapezoid
MIAMI – (Satire News) – A group of oceanic scientists have just announced that the mysteriously mystical Bermuda Triangle is actually not a triangle, but a trapezoid. Dr. Filbert R. Fibbingshire stated that the somewhat scary, somewhat legendary B…
Read full storyApple’s Latest and Greatest iPhone is Now Available
(NOT EDITED) NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Apple proudly announces it's brand new Apple Juice PS-007 iPhone. The phone which can hold up to 1.8 million email addresses, can also hold up to 7.3 million GP3 songs. It was developed in Dubai, India,…
Read full storySubway Denies That Their Roast Beef Sandwiches Contain Jellyfish
LOBSTERVILLE, Connecticut – (Satire News) – A spokesman for the famous sandwich franchise is denying reports that were allegedly put out by a member of the American Nazi Party. Bruno Dirtenhoffen, 42, who is the sergeant-at-arms of the ANP, told a…
Read full storyChina Wants To Buy NASA
HONG KONG – (World News) – China’s Abacus News Agency has made it known that the leader of China, Xi Jinping, wants to purchase the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. The Chinese leader stated that he has been wanting to buy the covete…
Read full storyMars landing is a massive marketing hoax claim inhabitants of other planets in our solar system!
(NOT EDITED) Aliens inhabiting planets in our solar system are up-in-arms (We don't quite know how many arms aliens have) because they believe the Mars landing was a fake, massive publicity stunt, sponsored by a transvestite Bounty-Hunter smelling of…
Read full storyElon Musk is Building The World’s Most Amazing Floating Asteroid Belt Station
HOUSTON – (Satire News) – Reports coming out of Houston state that the richest man in the world, Elon Musk, is in the process of building what will be a truly astonishing Floating Asteroid Belt Station. The station named Vesuvius, after his pet sa…
Read full storySoldier Dressed As a Bush Gets Shot By Fellow Soldier
(NOT EDITED) CAMEL KEBAB, Afghanistan – (Satire News) – Afghanistan’s Mirage News has admitted that a member of the Afghan army has shot one of his own fellow soldiers. General Attula Hay Booboolay, stated somewhat embarrassingly, that he cannot d…
Read full storyMan Doesn't Give A Flying Fuck About Space Exploration
Space, the race to the stars, boldly going where no man has gone before, and the colonization of other planets - the stuff of dreams! But not for one man, who spoke up loudly this week, saying that, as far as he was concerned, he really couldn't…
Read full storyManchester United Captain Harry Maguire Says He Wishes He Had A Tenner For Every Spoof Written About Him
The Manchester United and England defender, Harry Maguire, has spoken out about the considerable, and growing, number of fake news stories written about him, and remarked that he wished he had a ten-pound note for every one of them, for then, he woul…
Read full storyFootball Show Commentator Kept Calling Tyrone Mings "Tyrone Minge"
There was much mirth and laughter during a TV football programme this afternoon, when the commentator on the Aston Villa versus Arsenal Premier League fixture kept referring to the home side's defender Tyrone Mings as 'Tyrone Minge', which was clearl…
Read full storyLiverpool Goalkeeper In Alleged Betting Scandal
As the winners of last year's Premier League title, Liverpool were strongly backed to repeat that feat this year, and, after beating Crystal Palace 7-0 on 19 December, not many people would have bet against them. But one man did. Alisson is his…
Read full storyA Cocktail Waitress in Cleveland Has a Vagina That Can Yodel
CLEVELAND – (Satire News) – Cleveland’s Eye-Spectator News Channel 91 reports there is a woman who works as a cocktail waitress who has just found out that she has an amazing talent. Lea Jo Skeggy, who is 27 years old, says she recently discovered…
Read full storyGameStop Shares Went From $3, Up To $991, and Are Now Down to 14 Cents
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – GameStop has proved the old adage that what goes up must come down. And Wall Street is thrilled that some kind of numerical civility will soon begin to filter back to the stock market jungle. According to RumorLand…
Read full storyTrump Barred from Living in Mar-A-Lago, Will Build Compound in Guyana for Family and Worshippers
Mar-A-Lago, Florida - Former President Donald Trump, rebuffed by his neighbors in West Palm Beach who refused to allow him and his camp followers to settle at his Mar-A-Lago resort here, has announced he will purchase a plot of land in Guyana to buil…
Read full storyMaybe Biden's penis looks like a baby corn, says GOP strategist planning fake news leak
A senior GOP strategist reportedly tabled the idea they could damage US President Joe Biden's reputation by leaking a fake news story about how unflattering the President's penis was, especially when compared to former president Donald Trump's, accor…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Greene Set To Make Super Bowl Coin-Toss
Football fans across the country are waiting on tenterhooks tonight, after NFL commissioner Roger Goodell hinted in an interview with sports journalists that Sunday's Super Bowl pre-match coin-toss may be made by the Republican representative for Geo…
Read full storyEnglish lobsters demand new Brexit referendum!
(NOT EDITED) English lobsters caught in EU waters are now being returned to the UK and, instead of being directly boiled alive in French or German cooking pots, are now rotting in chilled trailers stuck in traffic jams waiting for customs clearance!…
Read full storyMayan Professor Predicts End Of World: “Will Not Survive Biden Administration”
BILLINGSGATE POST: It’s not easy to predict the end of the world. Not just because no one will be around to validate the prediction, but because very few colleges offer courses on the subject. Other than La Fontaine College, the Harvard of the Carib…
Read full story101 Symptoms That May Mean You've Already Had The Coronavirus
The Coronavirus, COVID-19, is still far from being conquered, despite a worldwide roll-out of vaccination programs, but, with many people reporting relatively mild symptoms, it's difficult to know, conclusively, whether we are suffering from COVID-19…
Read full storyGermany passes legislation making farting in public legal!
(NOT EDITED) Amid protests from conspiracy theorists, 'Querdenkers' (not Queer), lockdown opponents, and other mad-hatters in German society, Angie Merkel's government have decided to offer an olive-branch to such radical groups. Hopefully, by mak…
Read full storyFollowing Airline Tragedy, Red Bull Will No Longer Give You Wings
The National Transportation Safety Board reached the conclusion of their investigation of flight 267 today, reporting that the aircraft’s left engine had suffered a catastrophic failure after a 6’2, 34-year-old man with wings crossed the plane’s flig…
Read full storyPatrick Mahomes Pays Tom Brady $2 Million
TAMPA BAY – (Satire News) – After getting his butt kicked all over Raymond James Stadium by Tom Brady’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Patrick Mahomes of the Kansas City Chiefs, showed that he’s an honorable man. Zorro La Bamba, with Sports Bet Gazette, st…
Read full storyAble Rodriguez wins Nobel Prize in Literature
STOCKHOLM (World News) - American writer Able Rodriguez won the 2021 Nobel Prize in Literature for works exploring comedy in spoof writing, an "unmistakable...voice that with intelligent perception makes humor universal", the Swedish Academy said on…
Read full storyMan Got Doll's Leg Back On
A child's doll whose leg came off several weeks ago has at last been repaired by the father of its owner, it has been reported. The doll, Malina, which can be seen in the graphic above, is the property of young Delma Kenwood, aged 5, who, in tempe…
Read full storyAn Undefeated Wrestler on The Harvard Women’s Team Has Been Banned
CAMBRIDGE, Massachusetts – (Sports Satire) – Word coming out of Harvard University, is that one of its star female wrestlers, Penny Saddlehorn, has just been banned. According to iNews reporter, Kitty Segovia, it appears that Saddlehorn, who had a…
Read full story'Parisienne Walkways' Heard At Local Wedding
In an incident that will surprise many readers, a man who was eating his breakfast has reported how he became aware of a song blaring out of loudspeakers at a local wedding that, although it was considered a classic in its day, drips with such sadnes…
Read full storySpecial Forces From Switzerland Capture The World’s Most Notorious Terrorist Leader
CAMEL SHIT, Afghanistan – (Satire News) – Al-Zit Mohammed, supreme leader of the Taliban, and the most notorious terrorist leader on earth, has been captured. Afghanistan’s Mirage News Agency has confirmed that the 52-year-old beer-bellied leader…
Read full storyMexico Reveals Its Stance on Atheist Women Who Pose in The Nude
AGUASCALIENTES, Mexico - (Satire News) – Rosendo Reynosa, spokesman for the Republic of Mexico, has informed the international news media that, after months of discussion, the government has decided they will now take a stand on the issue of atheist…
Read full storyThe NFL Will Allow Quarterbacks to Use Mini-Computers While They’re on The Playing Field Starting Next Season
NEW YORK – (Sports Satire) – NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is taking Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones excellent suggestion. Jones suggested to the commissioner that, in order to embrace the ever-improving electronic advances in today’s fast-paced…
Read full storyBiden Shares His Hamburger Helper With His Dogs
BILLINGSGATE POST: It’s been well-documented that Joe Biden was tripped and felled by one of his adopted German Shepherds that he brought with him to the White House just lately. Not so well-documented is that he shares his daily rations with Champ…
Read full storyThe Houston Astros May Go Back To Using Their Original Name
HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – The sports world is abuzz with news that Houston Astros owner Jim “Whopping” Crane is toying with the idea of changing the team name back to it’s original name, The Colt 45’s. Back in 1962, the newly formed team was lau…
Read full storyDaytona 500 NASCAR Driver Was Caught With 75 Pounds of Marijuana in His Race Car
DAYTONA BEACH, Florida – (Sports Satire) – NASCAR officials are red faced after racing authority inspectors found that one of the drivers was found to have a quantity of marijuana stashed underneath the driver’s seat of his race car. Inspectors ch…
Read full storyThe CIA Uncovers Russian Plot To Invade Cuba
WASHIGTON D.C. – (Satire News) – The CIA has just confirmed that they have intercepted a Kremlin memorandum, which clearly shows that Russia is planning to launch an invasion of Cuba. CIA agent Dora the Explorer (the agent's name has been changed)…
Read full storyLeBron James' Lakers and Kawhi Leonard's Clippers Have L.A. Fans Jumping For Joy
LOS ANGELES – (Sports News) – The two teams that are occupying the top of the NBA’s Western Conference are both from LaLaLand, home of earthquakes, forest fires, mudslides, state-of-the-art drugs, and the Kardashian bitches. The celebrity media ag…
Read full storySpanish Bullfighter Joaquin Beauregard Gazpacho Denies The Shakira Romance Rumors
PAMPLONA, Spain – (Sports Satire) – Spain’s most popular matador, Joaquin Beauregard Gazpacho, has told Spain’s national news agency, El Toro News, that the recent rumors romantically linking him to Colombian belly dancer/singer Shakira are not true…
Read full storyThe New York Yankees Sign a 17-Year-Old Pitcher Who Can Throw 107 MPH
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – The manager of the New York Yankees, Aaron Boone, says he hasn’t been as happy as he is now since 2001, when he won $91,000 on Lucky Lady La Brea at the Santa Anita racetrack. The thing that has Boone so extremely…
Read full storyAldi & Lidl offering Covid-19 vaccines at discounter prices!
(NOT EDITED) German giant supermarket discounters have discovered a medical loophole to increase their popularity even more! Personnel joining their teams of slave-driven shelf-fillers, and non-smiling cashiers, are being given 'jab courses'! Punt…
Read full storyKellyanne and Claudia Conway’s 'The Conways of The Potomac' is One of America’s Top Rated Reality Shows
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Kellyanne Conway, former chief adviser to the defeated GOP president, has been catching hell lately from none other than her own daughter, Claudia. Boom Boom News reports that the 16-year-old dynamo has done what…
Read full storyA Woman Who Is 8-Months Pregnant Captures The Fort Worth Rodeo Bull Riding Championship
FORT WORTH, Texas – (Sports Satire) – In the ‘you’re never too pregnant to do anything category.’ comes a story about a brave sports woman who is 8 months pregnant. Naomi Capote, 37, of Chuck Wagon, Texas decided to enter the Fort Worth Rodeo Bull…
Read full storyMan Was Almost Late For Work
A tired man who decided to take a few extra minutes in bed this morning after his alarm clock went off, came close to being left red-faced when his 'few minutes' turned into 'more than an hour', and he was very nearly late for work. Moys Kenwood,…
Read full storyEx-Laker J.R. Smith found in Orlando Bubble hideout, thought there was still one more round of playoffs
Former Los Angeles Lakers role player J.R. Smith was found Saturday in a storage facility at the Disney Bubble complex near Orlando, more than 3 months after the conclusion of 2019-2020 season, expecting there to be still one more round of playoffs.
Read full storySnoring in hospital beds is to be forbidden!
(NOT EDITED) Anti-snoring groups are protesting outside German hospitals in an attempt to make it a crime to snore during time spent in wards. "Snoring is a crime and should be forbidden!" Sensitive ex-patients have been observed screaming, "Snor…
Read full storyOriginal Jesus's sandals found in German priest's foot-locker!
(NOT EDITED) A wicked smell was detected coming out of an ancient priest's foot-locker deep down in Pruem Cathedral's catacomb. Pruem is a town lodged between green hills faraway in the Eifel area of Germany. Locals have always wondered why such a…
Read full storyEU cheese suppliers boycott Nr 10!
(NOT EDITED) As a result of a certain referendum, which has caused economic chaos in the UK, EU cheese producers have decided to 'twist the knife into the wound' even further by boycotting Nr 10 Downing Street. Very cheesy PM, Boris Johnson, a hug…
Read full storyThe NFL Super Bowl Committee Divulges That Disease Experts Say The C-19 Virus Was Found in Hundreds of Hot Dogs
TAMPA BAY – (Sports Satire) – Several members of the news media report that, according to disease experts, traces of the C-19 virus were found in hundreds of the hot dogs served at the Super Bowl game. Dr. Tarpetina Kappalino, with the Florida Fed…
Read full storyTeacher Resorted To Game Of Bingo To 'Kill Time'
A teacher at a school where students had completed their work, and were merely sitting and waiting for the term to end, has told how he blew the roof off the building when he told his charges there was going to be a game of Bingo. The 9-year-old s…
Read full storyKim Jong-un Says He and Donald Trump Have Broken Up
Pyongyang, North Korea – Rice Paddy News has confirmed that public citizen Donald Trump and the second most powerful leader in the world, Kim Jong-un, are no longer a couple. The North Korean leader said that he gave Trump his engagement ring back…
Read full storyMorphine tablets cause erection instability!
(NOT EDITED) Slipped discs, plus other agonising ailments, are often treated by doctors prescribing painkillers. However, their side effects, albeit painless, can cause other strange reactions to the male body scientists have discovered! Females s…
Read full storyThe Valentine's Day tradition that gets the cream
Many Valentine's Day traditions are modern, commercial and trashy - the giving of cards, the pressure to send flowers - these are all recent inventions. Yet there is one popular tradition that is still going and started all the way back with St Valen…
Read full storyLiverpool Boss Jürgen Klopp Facing Sack
There was drama brewing on Merseyside this evening after it became known that the Liverpool board of directors had arranged an emergency meeting at Anfield on Tuesday afternoon with the team's German coach, Jürgen Klopp. Last season's champions ar…
Read full storyThe Notre Dame Fighting Irish Football Program May Be Ending
NORTE DAME, Indiana – (Sports Satire) – The director of the Notre Dame football program has just made a surprising announcement. Brother Sylvester Bob, who has headed the Fighting Irish football program since 1993, has said that the decision to te…
Read full storyMasturbating now accepted as a healthy pastime during lockdown!
(NOT EDITED) Scientist studying anti-social human behaviour during lockdown have discovered that many taboo habits should now be fully accepted as NORMAL (Whatever that is!). The study looked at all age categories from teeny to OAP and came up wit…
Read full storyMan Decides He Is Going To Do No Work Whatsoever Today
A man who is a bit of a rebel, and who likes to kick convention in the nuts at every opportunity he gets, has gone on the offensive again today, and said that, no matter what happens, he is not going to do a single scrap of work, and that's that.
Read full storyMan Delivered Series Of Huge Farts As He Walked Down Stairs
A man who knew they were coming, but who was in no position to stop them, has told of how he released a series of enormous farts as he walked down the stairs at his school on Friday morning, followed by a large group of his students. Moys Kenwood,…
Read full storyFootball Pundits Talk Bollox
When Liverpool put seven goals past Crystal Palace just seven short weeks ago on 19 December, the talk amongst football punditry was of "how far ahead of other football teams Jurgen Klopp's team are", how they were "uncatchable", and how "exquisite"…
Read full storyP.G.Wodehouse calls Jaggedone from his grave to transmit following dialogue between Bertie Wooster and Jeeves his butler!
(NOT EDITED) After connecting via a medium, immortal author, P.G.Wodehouse, has again pecked on Jaggedone's wooden brain to offer his spiffing fans posh messages from the 'Other Side!' Bertie Wooster and his butler, Jeeves, reside in a honeycomb o…
Read full storyRare Sighting Of Two Dogs With Four Assholes In Oval Office
BILLINGSGATE POST: Most presidents are satisfied with having but one dog during their time in the White House. But Joe Biden has two, both German Shepherds, that were adopted by him before he moved in. There have been countless variations of the s…
Read full storyMillions of American Males Are Suffering From NFL Football Withdrawal Syndrome
CHICAGO – (Sports Satire) – A scientific journal is reporting that millions of American males have become quite depressed. The American Journal of Sports Withdrawal Maladies has released a study stating that, now that the Super Bowl has been playe…
Read full storyStudent Denied Third Visit To Toilet In Same Lesson Spurts Diarrhoea Over Wide Area
There was controversy at a local primary school earlier today, when a male student who had already paid two visits to the toilet during his science lesson, was denied a third visit by his frustrated teacher, and was made to pay dearly for the consequ…
Read full storyThe Kardashian Sisters To Star in the X-Rated Film, ‘3 Girls, 1 Margarita Glass’
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Andy Cohen, of the Bravo Network, is reporting that the three elder Kardashian sisters, have just been signed to star with Matthew McConaughey, Bradley Cooper, and Yo Yo Afro Woke, in the Tri-Moon Films production of the…
Read full storyMan's Wife Has Left Him And Run Off With Her Dildo
A man who hit upon the unusual idea of buying his wife a dildo as a gift for St. Valentine's Day, has told 'friends' on social media that she has now run off and left him, in order to start a new life in Europe with her 'pleasure stick'. She is th…
Read full storyMan Was Forced To Endure Excrutiating Wait Outside Bathroom
A man who was absolutely desperate to use the toilet and who was made to wait outside the bathroom by his wife and daughter who were having a shower, has revealed how 'nipping his cheeks in' caused him extreme discomfort, as well as a good degree of…
Read full storyScience Teacher Tells Student: "It's Not Rocket Science!"
A school student who kept bothering his science teacher with irrelevant, not to say 'irreverent', questions about space travel in a lesson that was, instead, on the topic of 'Matter' - which was somewhat difficult to understand - was told by the teac…
Read full storyMan Has Got His Wife A Dildo For Valentine's Day
A man who was looking for an unusual and novel St. Valentine's Day gift for his wife, has gone for the jackpot this year, after revealing to workmates that he has got her a 12-inch black dildo. Ron Lummox, 40, hit upon the brilliant idea as he bro…
Read full storySunday Biographical Special: Joseph Stalin
Have you ever heard the lyrics to a popular Christmas carol “He’s making a list. He’s checking it twice. He’s gonna find out who’s naughty or nice”? Many people wrongfully assume that the carol is referring to Santa Claus, but it's actually Joseph St…
Read full storyA Homeless Man Who Bought $40 Worth of GameStop Stock in Late January, Learns It’s Now Worth $69 Million
CHEYENNE, Wyoming – (Satire News) – Horatio P. Zipp, 56, told Boom Boom News that he had been homeless for 6 years, ever since a horde of invading barbarian termites ate his 800 square foot wooden shack. He said that he had been standing on the co…
Read full storyJose Altuve of The Houston Astros Says He’s Ready To Play ‘Beisbol’
HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – Houston Astros superstar Jose Altuve says he is really missing his former teammate George Springer, but adds that he is ready to start the 2021 ‘beisbol’ season. The Venezuelan native, and man who will one day be the pr…
Read full storyBritish fishing vessels may gain access to the Pacific
The UK government have announced their intention to join a major trading bloc for the first time since leaving the EU. The Trans-Pacific Partnership is a trading agreement between eleven nations including Japan, Mexico and New Zealand, who intend to…
Read full story"You Don't Have To Live Like A Refugee" played continuously at Greek Refugee Camp
Lesbos, Greece - Refugees at the infamously wretched refugee camp on the Greek island bordering Turkey, tell the international Press willing to go there that Tom Petty's 1980 classic rock hit "You Don't Have To Live Like A Refugee" is sometimes playe…
Read full storyTampa Bay Police Make 900 Arrests at The Super Bowl
TAMPA BAY – (Sports Satire) – Boom Boom News reported that Tampa Bay police officers arrested 900 Super Bowl fans, who ended up missing the big game between the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Kansas City Chiefs, due to plain and simple unadulterated st…
Read full storyWhy Isn't The Super Bowl Known As The Superbowl?
When the Kansas City Chiefs take on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in Super Bowl LV at the Raymond James Stadium in Tampa on Sunday night, there won't be many people asking why the game has a two-word moniker, but that was exactly the question one man was…
Read full storyMany Republican Women Are Getting “I Love Trump” Tattoos Removed From Their Bodies
DUCK DUNG, Alabama – (Satire News) – The GOP Gushings News Agency has just divulged that a Republican research group has learned that millions of GOP women are going to tattoo parlors throughout America, and asking to have their “I Love Trump” tattoo…
Read full storyMeghan Markle Has Agreed To Appear on Dancing With The Stars
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz has just disclosed that Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, has finally agreed to appear on TV’s original dance competition show, Dancing With The Stars. BuzzFuzz has stated that the DWTS producers have been…
Read full storySpace Aliens Abducted Donald Trump, But Quickly Released Him
MAR-A-LAGO – (Satire News) – The Miami Citrus Chronicle is reporting that Donald Trump was abducted by space aliens as he shot out of a sand trap on the 9th hole of a golf course just outside of Mar-a-Lago. It said that, since leaving the White Ho…
Read full storyHistory For Children #2: Adolf Hitler
Once upon a time, there was a little boy called Adolf, who lived in a cold, snowy country called Austria. From a humble beginning, Adolf grew up to be a famous man, who everybody knew about. This is his story. Adolf lived in a town called Linz. He…
Read full storyAll 3 Members of Pussy Riot Are Now Claiming Trump Grabbed Them By The Pussy
BOSTON – (Satire News) – The Bravo Network’s Andy Cohen, who knows everything about everyone, said that he recently interviewed the three members of the Russian heavy metal rock band, Pussy Riot. Andy talked to the band while eating dinner at Bost…
Read full storyA List of Commercial Products You Won’t See Advertised on This Year’s Super Bowl
(NOT EDITED) The Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Kansas City Chiefs will be playing in Super Bowl LV. But behind the scenes, The Super Bowl Committee on Commercials has issued some extremely strict guidelines and requirements for all commercials. Th…
Read full storyMan Is Being Treated Like A Sex Slave
A married, middle-aged man who has been described as "having a tendency to invent the wildest exaggerations" has claimed that he is suffering the worst oppression imaginable, and being treated merely as a sex slave. The unfortunate individual is M…
Read full storyChina's anal swab for covid declared “act of war” by Pelosi congress
President Biden is reported considering battle group activity in Chinese waters, or bombing a few cities to respond to the latest international crisis. Analysts suggest the “anal swab imbroglio” has reached unreasonable levels at this time. The…
Read full storyThe Vampire Dairies Starring Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Is Back
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Millions of Vampire Diaries fans from Bulgaria to Pisagovia are thrilled that the popular vampire TV series is coming back with brand new shows. The year is now 2021, and the town has become a virtual cesspool of haunti…
Read full storyFish caught swimming on German motorway!
(NOT EDITED) Due to heavy rains bombarding certain parts of Germany strange occurrences have been spotted on a motorway between Cologne and Bonn. The motorway runs parallel to the River Rhine, and although flood-barriers have been erected, the Rhine…
Read full storyNational Cycling 3-Abreast Championships Start Thursday
There was great excitement amongst ardent cycling fans this morning, when it was announced that the Cambodian National Cycling 3-Abreast Championships will be commencing in Battambang on Thursday morning, from 5 am onwards, and will end only when som…
Read full storyBiden To Ban Pygmy-Dwarf Tossing
BILLINGSGATE POST: With his forty-first executive order, President Biden banned the use of Pygmy-dwarfs in any games which utilize little people under four feet tall in a game similar to dart throwing - except, instead of using darts, the contesta…
Read full storyCPSC Issues Advisory that Materials Used in MyPillow May Cause Delusions of Political Conspiracies
Washington DC - The Consumer Product Safety Commission issued a statement on Friday, that it is looking into data that seems to indicate that prolonged exposure to MyPillow might cause those connected with its manufacture to have hallucinations and d…
Read full storySecret Service Agent Mistakes Biden’s Package For Elderly Gerbil
BILLINGSGATE POST: It had to happen sooner or later. While Vice-President under Barack Obama, there were complaints by female Secret Service Agents that they were uncomfortable when they were forced to watch Sleepy Joe take his morning swim in the Wh…
Read full storyGOP making whoopee !!
Though impeachment proceedings loom, the outcome is already known, and Republicans are planning quite a show. No point spending money on external shysters when events warrant a jubilant internal shindig on the part of the GOP. They're sure not gonna…
Read full storyPelosi adds strip search now required of all Reps entering House Chambers
Capitol police are not sure they have the personnel to carry out Ms. Pelosi's new orders, especially for bathroom breaks from the House floor. The issue rises from a purported metal detector violation by two Republican House members, Reps. Louie G…
Read full storyWorking Class Knobhead Accused Of Being 'Upper Class Twit'
In a misjudgement of humongous proportions, a man who, if he categorizes himself as being anything at all, classes himself as being a working class idiot, has been accused by another man of being an 'upper class twit'. The accusation arose earlier…
Read full storyMan Sells White Privilege Card For $7 On Ebay
Robert Alton, 56, a McDonald's employee from Fort Lauderdale, announced yesterday that he had sold his 'White Privilege Card' on the internet auction site, eBay, for the princely sum of $7. "I decided to sell it even though it is 56 years old and…
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