Maybe Biden's penis looks like a baby corn, says GOP strategist planning fake news leak

Funny story written by Dr. Strangelove

Monday, 1 February 2021

image for Maybe Biden's penis looks like a baby corn, says GOP strategist planning fake news leak
A baby corn earlier

A senior GOP strategist reportedly tabled the idea they could damage US President Joe Biden's reputation by leaking a fake news story about how unflattering the President's penis was, especially when compared to former president Donald Trump's, according to a CNN report, Sunday.

Citing an anonymous insider with access to a Republican Party planning session at Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida, the GOP strategist is claimed to have said, Friday: "Everyone knows the boss's dong is shaped like a huge mushroom, and he had a good time with a porn star. How cool is that? Let's spread some crazy shit about Biden's dick looking like some pathetic vegetable, maybe a baby corn. We could then link him to some second rate hooker from Philly who went South on him a few times. I know a few who'll do anything for a donation."

The planning session then broke into a 30-minute brainstorm where attendees were asked to name fruits and vegetables that would make Biden seem more boring and diminutive than Trump, and then rate each suggestion. The eventual winning idea remained a baby corn, while a wilted celery stick came a close second, and a kiwi a distant third.

CNN anchor Chris Cuomo scoffed after reading the report, exclaiming "that's pathetic. I bet Biden's wang is more like a butternut squash."

When asked, White House press secretary Jen Psaki would neither confirm nor deny the report, stating she had "yet to see the President's schlong."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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