Man Doesn't Give A Flying Fuck About Space Exploration

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 20 February 2021

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Space exploration: what a load of cobblers!

Space, the race to the stars, boldly going where no man has gone before, and the colonization of other planets - the stuff of dreams!

But not for one man, who spoke up loudly this week, saying that, as far as he was concerned, he really couldn't give a fuck about space exploration.

Moys Kenwood, 57, spoke to a man who he calls a friend, but who denies being this, about the colossal amount of money being spent that cannot possibly be of any benefit to anyone who is alive now, despite all their funding of the tomfoolery.

Space, he said, far from being the 'Final Frontier' was, instead, the 'Final Effrontery' for governments to assume their loyal citizens didn't mind pouring their money into an endless pit - a Black Hole , if you will - for no good reason.

He said:

"Who amongst us cares whether or not there is life on other planets, or where we might develop alternative sites for human civilizations? We've made a complete hash of this planet - why should we go doing the same thing to Mars, Ars, Venus, Penus or Youranus? Leave them alone, I say! They've done nothing to us."

And, whilst there are countless problems here on Earth yet to be solved, such as poverty, food shortages, the vast inequality between rich and poor, children's issues, debt, war, and climate change, investigating whether plants could be grown on Mars' surface seem almost irrelevant, he said.

NASA's budget for 2021 is $23.3 billion.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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