Child Welfare Looking Into Parental Skills Of Senator Ted Cruz
After confessing that his daughter's demands motivated him into “Being a good dad and taking them to Cancun,” child welfare services are taking a closer look at the parental skills of Texas Senator Ted Cruz. Is there no discipline in the Cruz hous…
Read full storyA Second Helping of Lamb Tagine
According to many experts, if you are ever tempted to coprophagia, or the eating of feces, it is by far best to have first eaten a solid meal of the fragrant middle eastern dish called Lamb Tagine. This dish, which I sampled recently myself, is a ste…
Read full storyRadiohead divulge the truth behind their mega-hit, "I'm a Creep!"
(NOT EDITED) Without mentioning Kardashian and Kanye, which Jaggedone did, sorry, it seems there are more mind-blowing scandals in the rock-pop world than a silicone butt, and extended penis! Droopy-eyed lead singer of Radiohead, Thomas Edward Yor…
Read full storyMan Was Forced To Endure Excrutiating Wait Outside Bathroom
A man who was absolutely desperate to use the toilet and who was made to wait outside the bathroom by his wife and daughter who were having a shower, has revealed how 'nipping his cheeks in' caused him extreme discomfort, as well as a good degree of…
Read full storyMan Doesn't Give A Flying Fuck About Space Exploration
Space, the race to the stars, boldly going where no man has gone before, and the colonization of other planets - the stuff of dreams! But not for one man, who spoke up loudly this week, saying that, as far as he was concerned, he really couldn't…
Read full storySubway Denies That Their Roast Beef Sandwiches Contain Jellyfish
LOBSTERVILLE, Connecticut – (Satire News) – A spokesman for the famous sandwich franchise is denying reports that were allegedly put out by a member of the American Nazi Party. Bruno Dirtenhoffen, 42, who is the sergeant-at-arms of the ANP, told a…
Read full storyA Cocktail Waitress in Cleveland Has a Vagina That Can Yodel
CLEVELAND – (Satire News) – Cleveland’s Eye-Spectator News Channel 91 reports there is a woman who works as a cocktail waitress who has just found out that she has an amazing talent. Lea Jo Skeggy, who is 27 years old, says she recently discovered…
Read full storyJeff Bezos and Elon Musk Form Bezos-Musk Inc.
AUSTIN, Texas – (Satire News) – The two richest men in the world have just joined forces to form what pundits are calling a super-colossal company. Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk recently met at the Buckaroo Bunkhouse Barbecue Restaurant in Austin, wher…
Read full storyEditor To Anticipate Stories, And Publish Them Without Writer Having Written Them
A chance, off-the-cuff remark from one of its leading contributors has led to one saitirical news website announcing that its editor will, in the future, approve, correct, and publish submissions BEFORE they have even escaped from the tiny minds of t…
Read full storyTed says Goodbye to his Dog on the way to the Tropics
You’ll be OK, boy. You know that shivering makes you warm right? Good boy. Now, when your water freezes, you can scratch at it with your claws OK? Remember the vet saying your nails should be clipped once a year? Wasn’t he a moron? So daddy…
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