Biden Shares His Hamburger Helper With His Dogs

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Thursday, 4 February 2021

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Big Mutt Burger

BILLINGSGATE POST: It’s been well-documented that Joe Biden was tripped and felled by one of his adopted German Shepherds that he brought with him to the White House just lately. Not so well-documented is that he shares his daily rations with Champ and Major.

The White House chef, noting that his boss was losing a step or two, both mentally and physically, decided that, instead of feeding the dogs leftovers from the President’s evening meal, he would feed the President leftovers from the dog’s bowl - all for the President’s well-being, of course.

It seems that the President’s favorite meal is anything with Hamburger Helper, a packaged food product that is added to hamburger to create variety. You can have Hamburger Helper Cheeseburger Macaroni, Deluxe Beef Stroganoff, Chili Macaroni, Tomato Basil Penne, and several other classic meals - enough to get you through a week without duplicating the menu.

Champ, the chef says, is especially fond of the Stroganoff, while Major prefers the Chili Macaroni, although this is not good for his pesky hemorrhoids. As far as Joe is concerned, whatever the dogs eat is good enough for him.

In a related story, it has been reported that when Kim Jong-un met with President Obama, he couldn’t keep his eyes off the Obamas’ Portuguese Water Dog, Bo.

Dr. Slim: “I understand that President Obama was offered a McMuttley’s franchise in Pyongyang if he would let Kim take Bo back with him.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. Can’t wait to try their Big Mutt Burger with double mutt patties layered with kimchee and soy sauce.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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