A man who knew they were coming, but who was in no position to stop them, has told of how he released a series of enormous farts as he walked down the stairs at his school on Friday morning, followed by a large group of his students.
Moys Kenwood, 57, had just finished his last class for the morning, and, mentally exhausted after this trial, strode purposefully in the direction of the Teachers' Room for a well-deserved rest.
As he did so, however, he became aware of the fact that a quantity of gas that had been building up inside him during the last hour, was now attempting to make its escape.
And, as he turned at the end of the landing and put his foot out in front of himself to step down onto the first stair, he expelled a raging gust of wind from his anus that stopped those students behind him in their tracks.
Also behind him, curtains billowed.
Now too late to do anything about it, he took another step, and out came another big pump, this time with less gas, but with just as much 'quack' - if not more - and this was repeated with each successive step, as if an invisible trombonist were marking time to the descent.
The students on the landing above collapsed in hysterics. One was heard to say:
"Teacher Moys he go downstair loudly!"
Nobody is investigating.