101 Symptoms That May Mean You've Already Had The Coronavirus

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 7 February 2021

image for 101 Symptoms That May Mean You've Already Had The Coronavirus
It's not the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you offin

The Coronavirus, COVID-19, is still far from being conquered, despite a worldwide roll-out of vaccination programs, but, with many people reporting relatively mild symptoms, it's difficult to know, conclusively, whether we are suffering from COVID-19, or some other virus which is, though uncomfortable, significantly less serious.

We at TheSpoof.com have decided to publish a helpful Readers' Guide of 101 Symptoms of the Coronavirus, to establish whether or not you have, or may already have had, COVID-19.

If you have had any of the following, it's likely you have, or have had, it:

A cough
A tickly cough
A persistent cough
A cough that has made your throat sore
A cough that is really irritating
A cough that appears just when you start speaking
A cough that appears just when you start eating
A cough that appears when you go to bed
A cough that, once it starts, won't stop for ages
A cough that, quite frankly, you've had just about enough of
A cough that really gets on your nerves
A cough that makes you sound like an old man coughing his guts up
A cough that Buttercup Syrup has had no effect on
A cough that you wish would just fuck off

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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