Germany passes legislation making farting in public legal!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 8 February 2021

image for Germany passes legislation making farting in public legal!
German conspiracy-theorist-belly-aching's are now calming down because they can now LET RIP anywhere!

(NOT EDITED) Amid protests from conspiracy theorists, 'Querdenkers' (not Queer), lockdown opponents, and other mad-hatters in German society, Angie Merkel's government have decided to offer an olive-branch to such radical groups.

Hopefully, by making farting legal in public places, this latest law will calm tensions arising all over the Republic due to obligatory wearing of masks everywhere, curfews, and even in many areas, limitations in how many kilometres Germans can drive their BMW's and Mercs to visit Grandmas and Grandpas!

German politicians hope by allowing Germans to fart legally in public places, on buses, trains, etc, it will thwart idiots looking for a 'bit of bovver' whenever lockdown opponents protest. In addition, wearing masks will aid innocent commuters stuck in trains, buses, and the underground, from suffering too much from farting men and women giving the German public a sense of freedom back lost last year when lockdowns began.

Signs have been set up all over the nation reading; FARTING HERE IS NOW LEGAL! The reaction of reactionaries has been incredibly positive as they are now allowed to fart all over the place without having to hold their combustible rear-ends until they reach a public convenience to let rip!

Scientists have also proven farting reduces angst, stress, and aggression and, as long as masks are obligatory the stench is quite bearable, apart from if heavy vegan consumers of sauerkraut or cabbage happen to enter a train carriage or crowded bus!

Farting in public places will remain legal until wearing masks is no longer necessary. However, a growing number of students studying Henry the Eighth's debauched parties, are preparing protest marches all over Germany demanding that farting remains legal in public! They are organising a massive 'Stink-In' in Berlin offering tons of sauerkraut free to enhance their 'FFF / Freedom For Farters' movement after Covid-19 masks have been buried with impunity! Scheiss Dinge!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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