CAMEL SHIT, Afghanistan – (Satire News) – Al-Zit Mohammed, supreme leader of the Taliban, and the most notorious terrorist leader on earth, has been captured.
Afghanistan’s Mirage News Agency has confirmed that the 52-year-old beer-bellied leader was found hiding in a broom closet in his granddaughter’s mobile home.
Special Forces troops from Switzerland’s crack Alpian Guard said that Mohammed offered no resistance, and actually started crying like a bratty 2-year-old.
The troops told the assembled press that, when they found him, they could not stop laughing, as he was dressed in his granddaughter’s lavender and chartreuse bikini swimsuit, while wearing Maybelline lipstick and Cover Girl eye-liner.
One of the Swiss soldiers said he looked like a cross between Kathy Griffin and a Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus clown.
Mohammed asked his captors for a drink of water, a camel and cheese sandwich, and a cell phone. He was given the water and the sandwich, but the commanding officer asked him why he wanted a cell phone.
He replied that he wanted to call his camel insurance agent so he could cancel his camel insurance policy.
Swiss authorities have agreed to turn the Taliban leader over to the United States government, who will be imprisoning him in the infamous Guantanamo Bay Prison in Cuba.
While at Gitmo, Mohammed, will be fed a diet of squirrel balls, tree leaves, and aardvark milk. U.S. officials stated that he’ll also be tasered twice a day.