Man Was Almost Late For Work

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 4 February 2021

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He eventually crawled out of his pit at 6:20

A tired man who decided to take a few extra minutes in bed this morning after his alarm clock went off, came close to being left red-faced when his 'few minutes' turned into 'more than an hour', and he was very nearly late for work.

Moys Kenwood, 57, retired to bed after completing his editing work for online satirical news and parody website TheSpoof.com at around midnight last night, and set his alarm for 5 a.m., knowing that the next day was going to be a struggle, as he was already exhausted.

When the alarm sounded five hours later, however, his body rebelled, and told his brain to wait "for a few more minutes".

His brain knew, instinctively, that this was a mistake, but, being tired itself, it bowed to the pressure.

Kenwood lapsed back into his repose. He drifted into a wonderland where Sleep was king, and where Work was an evil enemy who roamed the wastelands of the mind, preying on those too innocent, too gullible to stand up for themselves in today's capitalist society and tell their bosses to go and fuck themselves and stick their crummy-paying jobs up their arses.

Suddenly, he snapped awake. It was 6:20. Like a man possessed, and fearful of telling his boss to go and fuck himself, and to stick his crummy-paying job up his arse, Kenwood showered and dressed in one motion, and roused his wife from her slumbers to go and make his dinnertime sandwich whilst he swallowed his breakfast.

Those tasks completed, the pair roared off on their motorbike, and reached Kenwood's school with a minute to spare, at 7:29 a.m.

Said the 'teacher' to his wife:

"Seeing as we were early, I might start getting up at 6 instead of 5 in future."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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