Morphine tablets cause erection instability!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Friday, 12 February 2021

image for Morphine tablets cause erection instability!
This treatment is certainly worth a try advise The Willy-Wankum-Hot-Hard-Line!

(NOT EDITED) Slipped discs, plus other agonising ailments, are often treated by doctors prescribing painkillers. However, their side effects, albeit painless, can cause other strange reactions to the male body scientists have discovered!

Females swallowing doses of morphine tablets do not have any external side-effects! However, with males, the side-effects are quite obvious, and visible malfunctions occur during attempts to have any form of sex!

'A droopy willy' is a major side effect observed after pain-killing treatment with morphine tablets. Hot female partners complain to their GP's about their partner's soft-spot. They in turn have asked scientists for their advice, or a possible cure.

Professor Dick Willy-Wankum, a German specialist in erection deficiencies, has offered despairing wives the following alternative treatment for their hubbies Saggy-Willy-Syndrome:

1) Rent a Toy-Boy!

2) Buy a dildo!

3) Don't blow, suck instead!

4) If your hubby is older than 65 get him to a Covid-19 jab centre fast and pay extra to have him injected with the Pfizer vaccination, they produce Viagra too! You then can kill two birds with one 'prick!'

5) Dress like a kinky nurse, wear black, ripped fishnet stockings with a suspender belt, carry a huge needle in one hand, and a vibrator in the other! If that does not work, take your dildo out of the draw, and have a DIY job!

6) Dip his dip-stick in a bag of quick hardening, Choco-tasting plaster, and suck as hard as you can until it melts!

Hardened macho males with horrendous back pain prefer to be left alone and have their willies sagging until the pain disappears because at least they can watch Manchester United every three days in peace without their missus's constantly asking them to jump in bed before 90 minutes is 'blown up!'

For more erection-deficiency advice please ring the 'Wanker-Willy-Hot-Hard-Line'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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