Pyongyang, North Korea – Rice Paddy News has confirmed that public citizen Donald Trump and the second most powerful leader in the world, Kim Jong-un, are no longer a couple.
The North Korean leader said that he gave Trump his engagement ring back, and let him know that he will be blocking him on Facebook.
When asked what prompted the breakup, the Kimster said that it got to where every word that came out of Trump’s mouth was either a lie, a fallacy, or a dangling participle.
The little North Korean fella, who Nancy Pelosi refers to as the Asian Pilsbury Doughboy, also became jealous of Trump’s new-found, intimate relationship with the My Pillow guy, and man who has no upper lip, and one long unibrow, Michael Lindell.
When Trump was asked to comment on the worldly breakup, he remarked that he never really liked Kim, but he just kissed his Kardashian-looking ass so he wouldn’t fire a damn missile at Iowa.
He went on to say that, truth be told, Kim, who tips the scales at 357, is addicted to recreational drugs like medicinal cocaine, reconstituted heroin, and opioid brownies.