BOSTON – (Satire News) – The Bravo Network’s Andy Cohen, who knows everything about everyone, said that he recently interviewed the three members of the Russian heavy metal rock band, Pussy Riot.
Andy talked to the band while eating dinner at Boston’s famed Hungry as a Horse Diner. The girls ate hamburgers and fries, and Andy had Vichyssoise Smothered in Sauteed Mauritanian Mushrooms with Refried Lobster Newfoundland on the side.
Cohen asked the lascivious all-female trio about the rumor that started in Cleveland, that Trump had grabbed each one of them by the pubic playpen last summer, while they were having Mango Margaritas on his yacht on Lake Erie.
Band member Hooha said that one minute he was talking about how pretty his hair was, and the next he had her two lower lips in his little bitty, sissy fingers.
Beaver chimed in, saying that, when he grabbed her vajayjay, she came very close to biting him on his hand, but resisted for fear of possibly catching some sort of weird communicable disease.
And the third band member, Muffin, said that when he grabbed her taquito, she hauled off and kicked him in his testes, causing him to scream out like a female opera singer in his native German.
Meanwhile, the titillating trio told Cohen that each band member has dozens of nude photos of Trump, and they will be making them available to the X-rated version of Wikipedia, Sikipedia, in a week or so.
