British fishing vessels may gain access to the Pacific

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Tuesday, 2 February 2021

image for British fishing vessels may gain access to the Pacific
Not another Brexit story!

The UK government have announced their intention to join a major trading bloc for the first time since leaving the EU. The Trans-Pacific Partnership is a trading agreement between eleven nations including Japan, Mexico and New Zealand, who intend to become a "Pacific EU".

Boris Johnson described the UK's application to the TPP as a great sign of the country's future, saying that "soon British fishing fleets will be sailing the Southern seas, and perhaps we could even start whaling again."

Australian MP Bruce Jasonson was apoplectic at the proposal. "I'm apoplectic," he said.

According to Jasonson, any British fleets entering Australian waters would be breaking international law. "They can go fish," he said. "By which I mean they can fuck off."

It is estimated that a fishing vessel would take around eight weeks to reach the South Pacific, and another eight weeks to return. Fisherman Geoff Flounder was optimistic. "I'm optimistic," he said. "We can save money by consuming all of the fish on the journey back to Grimsby. It's only going to go rotten if we don't eat it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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