Pelosi adds strip search now required of all Reps entering House Chambers

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Sunday, 7 February 2021

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Explorations for the cover image of a new study "The Importance of Leadership in Government" currently in process

Capitol police are not sure they have the personnel to carry out Ms. Pelosi's new orders, especially for bathroom breaks from the House floor.

The issue rises from a purported metal detector violation by two Republican House members, Reps. Louie Gohmert and Andrew Clyde.

Representative Gohmert stepped off the House floor for a bathroom break, and did not use the detector, leading to his $5,000 fine for a first offense ($10,000 for a second and following).

Mr. Gohmert has said that it is not possible to secrete a weapon inside a toilet tank in a House bathroom, so the fine in his case is “a non-issue.”

Meanwhile, GOP leaders accused Ms. Pelosi of avoiding the detectors herself, despite saying earlier: “It is tragic that this step is necessary, but the Chamber of the People's House must and will be safe.”

Whether Ms. Pelosi must now pay a $5,000 fine is moot, due to the possibility she is exempt from her own rules.

Analysts have pointed out avoiding the rules by the rule-makers has been common in recent months, indicating that “virtue-signaling” is more important than virtue itself.

Further, no one so far has suggested Ms. Pelosi may be packing, as within the sacrosanct regions of her underwear.

However, this last possibility has apparently occurred to The Speaker of the House as the next security measure to keep The People's Chamber safe.

Henceforth, all representatives entering the chamber will be strip-searched by capitol police, even those leaving momentarily for a bathroom break.

(The search includes bending over and "spreading," as within the prison system.)

Those avoiding this procedure will be fined $10,000 for the first offense and $20,000 henceforward.

It is fortunate these representatives can afford the fines, with their $175,000 annual salaries as base start for their personal economy while serving the public.

Ms. Pelosi's worth, for example, is estimated at approximately 135 million, ranked at the 15th wealthiest member of congress.

Meanwhile, Ms. Pelosi has responded: “I have never packed anything in my life, and certainly not in that region of the anatomy.”

“As to not walking through the detector, I perhaps forgot for a moment, engaged as my mind is with the Trump business."

“Now, as to what next, what advance beyond a strip-search, as may well be needed, that is not clear to me at the moment. But I am working on it!”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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