Man's Wife Has Left Him And Run Off With Her Dildo

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 14 February 2021

image for Man's Wife Has Left Him And Run Off With Her Dildo
Amsterdam: where Madge and the dildo are now

A man who hit upon the unusual idea of buying his wife a dildo as a gift for St. Valentine's Day, has told 'friends' on social media that she has now run off and left him, in order to start a new life in Europe with her 'pleasure stick'.

She is thought to have gone to Amsterdam.

Ron Lummox, of Oaf-on-Sea in East Yorkshire, bought his wife, Madge, the unconventional Valentine's Day gift after seeing it whilst looking around the internet, and decided it would be the perfect thing for a woman with her sexual appetite.

Indeed, he may have been right.

No sooner had his wife unwrapped the gift, than she retired upstairs to their bedroom to pack.

She came downstairs fifteen minutes later with a small bag in one hand and her dildo in the other. She told Ron:

"Bye!"

"She didn't even call a taxi," wrote Ron on Facebook. "She caught the bus."

Madge was confirmed by immigration officials at North Sea Ferries Alexandra Dock terminal as having boarded the overnight service to Rotterdam.

The man who checked her passport said:

"She was in a real hurry, and travelling light. She had just two pieces of carry-on luggage - a small bag and what looked like a large Black Pudding."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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