NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – GameStop has proved the old adage that what goes up must come down. And Wall Street is thrilled that some kind of numerical civility will soon begin to filter back to the stock market jungle.
According to RumorLand News, sales of GameStop’s video game Bricks, Mortars, and Boulders, along with the adult woman’s video game Finding Your G-Spot In Less Than 4 Tries, have taken quite a plunge.
Popular trading apps such as Robinhood, Attilathehun, and Jackbenimble, have all but shut down their monetary contingency logistics, and are now flirting with filing Chapter 11 Bankruptcy.
Marketing psychoanalysts are predicting that GameStop’s shares will drop to 3 cents before Valentine’s Day.
Zackary Yukon, with RumorLand News, revealed that reality show maven, Kate Gosselin, who has a Master's Degree in Marketing Psychoanalyzing, told him that she has always adhered to the old adage, that if something is too good to be true, it effen is.
Meanwhile, Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that Eric Trump has been hospitalized for extreme depression, due to the fact that he bought nearly $2 million worth of GameStop shares, which are now worth $3,897.
In closing, Hollywood know-it-all celebrity guru Andy Cohen spoke with Melania Trump, and she revealed to him that Eric has just been put on suicide watch.