PAMPLONA, Spain – (Sports Satire) – Spain’s most popular matador, Joaquin Beauregard Gazpacho, has told Spain’s national news agency, El Toro News, that the recent rumors romantically linking him to Colombian belly dancer/singer Shakira are not true.
He did admit that she has a fantastic body that any athlete would love to caress and kiss for at least 35 to 40 minutes.
El Gazpacho, who was gored last year, a mere one inch from his cojones, said that he has never met the beautiful gyrating Shakira, but he did meet her lookalike Britney Spears at a Luby's Cafeteria in Tierra del Fuego, Argentina, back on Columbus Day.
Shakira has also been linked to Los Angeles Clippers player Kawhi Leonard. It is no secret that the blonde bombshell loves being in the company of basketball players, bullfighters, and marimba musicians.
When Shakira was asked to comment on El Gazpacho, she smiled, and said that, last Christmas, he FedExed her a red T-shirt that read “Matador’s Do It While Wearing Pantyhose”.