TAMPA BAY – (Sports Satire) – Several members of the news media report that, according to disease experts, traces of the C-19 virus were found in hundreds of the hot dogs served at the Super Bowl game.
Dr. Tarpetina Kappalino, with the Florida Federation of Food (FFF) informed the press that disease experts had found hot dogs in Section 17, which contains 672 seats.
The doctor stressed that on a scale of 1 to 10, the severity of the hot dog virus was a 5.2.
A reporter with Sports Territory Magazine noted he had talked to a representative with the NFL, and was told that anyone who sat in Section 17 at Raymond James Stadium should immediately go to a 24-Hour Emergency Clinic, and get a prostate exam, if you’re a male, or a pap smear, if you’re a female.
Dr. Kappalino suggested that the 'Section 17 Spreaders,' as the group has being labeled, refrain from touching, kissing, or having sex with any of their fellow Section 17ers, or anyone else for that matter, for a period of no less than 7 months.
Meanwhile, the NFL has put out a message that anyone who sat in the infamous Section 17, can have the price of their Super Bowl ticket (plus the cost of hot dogs, nachos, shrimp balls, cotton candy, foam fingers, and beer refunded by calling 1-717-555-OOPS.