DUCK DUNG, Alabama – (Satire News) – The GOP Gushings News Agency has just divulged that a Republican research group has learned that millions of GOP women are going to tattoo parlors throughout America, and asking to have their “I Love Trump” tattoos removed.
Slickton W. Waterwood, one of the best tattoo artists in the deep south, told GOP Gushings reporter Jimbo Zoopy that most of the women are members of the ex-president's highly-devoted base, but added they just don't like wearing tattoos of losers.
When asked what the cost of having a tattoo lasered off was, Waterwood said that it really depended on the location. He stated that tattoos on arms, legs, and necks can be removed for $235.
He explained that tramp-stamp tattoos will cost $395, and that tattoos located on breasts, bikini lines, asses, and both labias range from $875 to $990.
Alabama’s premier tattooist said that one lady came into his tattoo parlor last week, and told him she wanted to have her “I Love Trump” tat removed from her right ovary.
He shook his head, and told her that he’s a tattoo artist not a friggin gynecologist.
Waterwood added that he removed a Trump tattoo from the tongue of a Wyoming woman who weighed 395 pounds.
He said that he had to charge her $1,265, due to her 140-decibel, ear-piercing screams, biting him on his ring finger, and for kicking him in his Waterwood family jewels.
Meanwhile, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Hope Hicks, Sean Hannity, and Rudy Giuliani have all said they have no plans of getting their "I Love Trump" tattoos removed.