P.G.Wodehouse calls Jaggedone from his grave to transmit following dialogue between Bertie Wooster and Jeeves his butler!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Friday, 5 February 2021

image for P.G.Wodehouse calls Jaggedone from his grave to transmit following dialogue between Bertie Wooster and Jeeves his butler!
Pop the corks, Jeeves and Bertie just love to entertain! Burp!

(NOT EDITED) After connecting via a medium, immortal author, P.G.Wodehouse, has again pecked on Jaggedone's wooden brain to offer his spiffing fans posh messages from the 'Other Side!'

Bertie Wooster and his butler, Jeeves, reside in a honeycomb of affluent nuances transmitted via Jaggedone's wicked sense of humour which, knows no boundaries because he is such a bounder!

This conversation has been uniquely recorded. Spoof lovers of Brit aristocratic wit will fully comprehend the meaning of this madness heard in Bertie's haunted Berkeley Mansion:

Bertie to Jeeves: "Jeeves old Bean, have you spotted that ghastly Mosley chappie circling in our upper-crust circles?"

"No sire, but I have heard from our alcoholic aristocrat friends frequenting their local watering holes, he is now called Farage, or Fudge, or something similar!"

"Jeeves, which watering hole do you mean? That one in Rhodesia where I bagged that damn rhinoceros which wouldn't surrender?"

"No Sire, the Stags Head, which you also bagged quite a few years ago!"

"Oh, that one Jeeves, by golly, I had a sore bum chasing that thing on my imported Arabian white stallion!"

"No sire, that was a foxhunt, not a stag hunt, although your stag-night was quite remarkable!

"By golly Jeeves, it was rather whacko wasn't it, was he there too?"

"No sire, that was Prince, who played the piano like a young Mozart, Whacko was too busy hanging his children out of hotel windows, great publicity stunt though, don't you agree sire?"

"Oh, that Prince, the one with the red knob!"

"Sire, please, our audience is getting younger by the minute, but he certainly used to have a red knob, rather balding now, and by spiffing golly, his brother is like that badger we spotted the other night when I accompanied you home from that royal champers bash at the Palace, old QE2 certainly knows how to swing, Philipp too!"

"Yes Jeeves, that is what happens when your papa sniffs tampons behind his wife's back, by golly, she was rather a Femme Fatale, but his spouse now could have won the Grand National backwards!"

"Yes Sire, she certainly 'Bowles' them over the hurdles, and poor Diana, bless her soul, preferred those rich exotic scoundrels purchasing our houses in Mayfair. I do believe Lawrence preferred them too?"

"By the way Jeeves, pop over to Harrods and purchase a stuffed white rhinoceros, they're nearly extinct I hear, and I am much too old to hunt the damn things!"

"No problem Sire, but I do believe there is a pandemic raging, so I'll order it on-line!"

"On what Jeeves?"

"Online Sire."

"Oh that, cheeky chap you are Jeeves, I still have a few lines hidden in my snuff box given to me by Winston, he could certainly snort too!"

"Oh Sire, you can be a little devil sometimes. just like that Mosley chap, I heard he was ripping it up with those scoundrels from Birmingham!"

"Birmingham, where is that Jeeves?"

"Not quite Kensington Sire, but one must dance with devils sometimes!"

"The Blind obviously leading the Blind, now where's my line?"

Jaggedone is eagerly awaiting a further call from P.G.Wodehouse camped on the other side, in the interim a cuckoo just flew over his nest!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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