There were 410 spoof news stories published in March 2023. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Jesus’ Foreskin Has Been Found!
A Palestinian shepherd boy with a rum-pa-pa-pum drum was wandering on the outskirts of Jerusalem, trying to hide from Israeli police, who had just beaten up his grandmother for breathing without a permit … anyway, the kid was digging in the dirt tryi…
Read full storyTerminating Homo Sapiens for Paradise Lost
Advanced nanobot engineers have finally hooked up the brains of two people to act as one! They can’t think for themselves – only echo what their programmers have jammed into their skulls. Science knows no ethical bounds – yay! Remember The Termina…
Read full storyEx-Navy Pilot Saw One UFO Attempt to F**k Another UFO
Recently, many ex-navy pilots have come forward in the U. S. to say they have seen UFO's near their planes doing weird things. One ex- pilot recently anonymously described a 'Close Encounter'. "This large Bluish Flower - shaped UFO was hang…
Read full storyAlexa, How Do I Know I Exist?
Alexa was the first, but now there will be more robots, or AI thingys, to make our lives better and to take away our need to think for ourselves. “Alexa, do unicorns exist?” “No, unicorns are mythical, they do not really exist.” “Alexa, is B…
Read full storyPirates to Attack Floating Cities in Elon’s Future Dreams
Elon Musk is interested in floating cities. An island, constructed by people, on which an entire city stands. Like Manhattan, if its island could float and move around for a moveable feast of all things New York. Who doesn’t want that city off…
Read full storyComputerized Guard Dog Robots do Strip Show with Luscious Model in Paris
A Boston company recently did a secret robot and human strip show in Paris for some big tech company executives - to show off the flexibility of their robot guard dogs. (And hopefully sell some of them.) The 'terminator - type' robot dogs ca…
Read full storyHow Did Corona Virus Start? Stupid Congressional Republicans Will Figure it Out
Republicans control the House of Congress, not the Senate, and are gearing up to solve where the Corona Virus came from. They are not Scientists, just your ordinary, delusional Right-Wing UltraConservatives (Trump is God, etc.; there are millions…
Read full storyTrump Is So Depressed He's Now Taken Up Smoking
MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - An anonymous Mar-a-Lago employee has revealed that Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump is so depressed and miserable that he has taken up smoking. The insider stated that the Orange Whale is smoking four packs of Marlboros e…
Read full storyLatinos Demand U.S. Pay for Their Sex Changes
Led by the most feared Latin American gang, MS 12.5, undocumented Mexicans, Central, and South Americans dressed in orange vests carrying leaf blowers and shouting "Yes we can" in Espanol descended on our nation's capital roaring their leaf blowers…
Read full storyLatinas: "No Respecto, No Puta por Macho Hombres"
Marching with the transsexual, gay, non-binary, and transvestite members of the feared MS-12.5 gang (who wear pin berets) whose leaf blowers and rainbow painted machetes glinted in the early morning sun peeking through the New York skyscrapers onto t…
Read full storyA List of Tweets From Donald "The Loser" Trump
BREAKING NEWS: THE ORANGE WHALE'S DAYS ARE NUMBERED In a shocking turn of events, sources close to "The Evil Fatso" confirm that his days of freedom are numbered. It's said that the walls of his New York State courthouse cell are literally closing…
Read full storyBeloved Childhood Characters All Turning Trans
To spite Ron DeSantis, major British publishers have sent out a call to all writers – please write as many children’s books involving transsexuals as possible. In fact, the publishers are even thinking about rewriting old kid’s books with ONLY transs…
Read full storyMick Lynch Wins UK Bowling Championship After Record Number Of Strikes
RMT boss Mick Lynch was last night crowned the new ten pin bowling champion of the United Kingdom after producing a record thirteen strikes in a row for a score of 330. Surrey native Geoff Saunders, Lynch’s opponent in the final, only managed a score…
Read full storyMIRA! MS 12.5, El PENDEHO, Presidente! State Patrol Captures CopKiller in CUBA
Puerto Ricans, Haitians, and members of the feared, machete-carrying Honduran gang, Los Pendehos, celebrated last night in the courtyards of subsidized housing on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Members of the powerful congressional democratic…
Read full storyMurder, She Wrote brought back to life. Sub heading Murder She Re-wrote
For anyone on this planet who has never seen an episode of Murder, She Wrote let me quickly fill you in. The show is essentially a crime drama but without all the rape and torture. The story's protagonist is Jessica Fletcher, a murder mystery/c…
Read full storySmall Lip-Shaped Kissing Robot Plugs into your Phone - Use When Your "Girlfriend" is Away
CCN reports on a small Kissing Robot that attaches to your cell phone and has an app. It was developed by lonely Chinese tech students. The round plastic device with realistic silicone lips, plug in your phone and during your call you can talk…
Read full storyIsraeli Leaders Quake as Prominent Liberal Jews and Gentiles Criticize in NY Times
Benjamin Netanyahu and other members of the Israeli Parliament met today in Tel Aviv to honor members of several underground groups who risked their lives to free the country from British domination decades ago. "Blowing up the King David didn't give…
Read full storyTime for SPAIN to Pay Up: Former World Colonizer Owes U.S.Trillions of Dollars
BREAKING NEWS: The President of Oppressed Americans of NJ, NYC, released a copy of a memo that he sent to Señor Excellent Presidente in Madrid this morning. When he woke up this morning, he became "woke" to the fact that if the Spanish Conquistadores…
Read full storyDue To His 36,000 Plus Lies, Trump Now Has a Horrendous Tongue Infection
MIAMI - (Spoof News) - Despite countless warnings from his soon-to-be-ex-wife Melania, the notorious liar known as Moby Dickless refused to stop his deceitful ways. Now, personal physician Dr. Yang Fufi has revealed that the Pussy Grabber has deve…
Read full storyRobot Literature Nobel Prize Winner Ain't No Doctor Suess
A robot has won the Nobel Prize for Literature! The Noveltron 3000 has penned over 42 novels with universal themes of love and loss and man’s inhumanity to man – hitting all the notes for any jury – and blew the human competition away! Judges a…
Read full storyDon't Judge Me
Don’t judge me I sat down to watch some television Wondering what was on tonight I scrolled right through the channels It was a sorry sight It was competition-based reality shows Where judges eliminate you Where three of them are nice as p…
Read full storyAn Arrest Warrant Has Been Issued For Donald Trump But The Orange Nutcase Has Gone Into Hiding
LOCATION UNKNOWN - (Spoof Satire) - The FBI's Most Wanted Criminal, aka Trump The Chump, knows full-well that it is just a matter of time before he is arrested and his fat, cellulite-riddled ass in occupying Sing Sing Federal Prison. All throughou…
Read full storyNation's Hospital Accreditation Agency Identifies Sixth Vital Sign!!!
Hospital executives are reeling this morning as they prepare to be surveyed on a new standard in patient care. "Of course," said one Mid-Atlantic suburban hospital administrator, "We are aware that people need to have their respirations, pulse, tempe…
Read full storyPresident Biden In a Gesture of Goodwill Says He Will Lend Trump 75¢
WASHINGTON D.C. - (Spoof News) - President Biden was laughing as he told the White House Press Corps that he will be lending "Moby The Whale" (Trump) 75¢ toward his legal defense. POTUS did note that he wants to be repaid $3 (icluding interest).
Read full storyA List of 10 Euphemisms For The Word Vagina
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Boom Boom News writer Hacienda Fiddle writes that the word vagina first came into use back during the winter of 1808. According to The American Research Group, the V-word, which describes the female reproductive or…
Read full storyMan sues psychic who failed to predict how disappointed he would be
A man from Blackpool is taking legal action against a psychic who he claims failed to predict how disappointed he would be with her services. The man, who wishes to remain anonymous, visited the psychic for a reading in hopes of gaining insight i…
Read full storyAnd Now For Something Completely Taliban
Q: How many Taliban does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One Million! One to find a book on how to screw in lightbulbs and read it, and 999,999 to whip the living shit out of any woman or girl who dares read the same book. Q: How many Taliban…
Read full storyI’m A Doctor, Not An Actor
In California, in Hollywoodland, in Los Angeles, there are lots and lots of doctors. And they have the money to dress nicely and look respectable in a town where respect is a word used by junkies and hookers and screenwriters … but not by anyone who…
Read full storyA Leaking Pecker Is NOT Funny!
Is your pecker leaking? We all worry about leaking peckers, some more than others, but not you … Oh no, you think your pecker is going to stay vacuum-sealed for the rest of your life, dontcha? And then one day you’re walking along the stree…
Read full storyThe Spoof Press Cleared By British Courts Of Illegal Eavesdropping, Hacking Or Wire Tapping
Whew! Pass the gin. Time to celebrate! The Spoof writers cleared of any hostile intentions in their professional reporting. The High Court in London has cleared all The Spoof writers accused of infringing on the private lives of celebrities like E…
Read full storyHOA Performs First Resident Execution Ever!
A home owner's association in the north - eastern United States performed the nation's first such execution today at 5:38 a. m. Eastern Standard Times. Residents gathered at the community's basketball court with coffee, fast - food breakfast sand…
Read full storyBasil Blathering's Church Ladies 'Think-Tank' See China and Russia Taking over the World
Basil Blathering, editor of the Olde Church News, also runs the group of his 'Current Affairs' Church Ladies. These are very 'sharp' women who have been through the 'Meat Grinder' of life as mothers and workers. Their latest thought piece is…
Read full storyDonald Trump Goes In For A Tummy Tuck Estimate - The Cost Is Astronomical!
PENSACOLA, Florida - (Satire News) - The fat ass that has ballooned up to 367¼ pounds (none other than Trump) has decided that he needs to get a damn tummy tuck because when he stands naked in the shower he cannot see his little bitty binky (dick) or…
Read full storyGuatemala Has The World's Greatest and Most Luxurious Soccer Stadium
GUATEMALA CITY, Guatemala - (Satire News) - According to the Nacional News Agency, the Guatemala City Hot Tamale Ball Kickers play in Ixtantan Soccer Stadium, which is allegedly the most luxurious stadium in the world, even more luxurious than a gold…
Read full storyA List of 10 Towns With Very Vulgar Names
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The Metro News Service has just released a groundbreaking list of the world's top 10 most vulgar named cities. According to MNS investigative reporter Joaquin Cerveza, the list was compiled by scouring through obscu…
Read full storyTaylor Swift Can’t Keep It In Her Hard Rock Panties
Taylor Swift has tried again and again to donate her panties to the Hard Rock Café in Los Angeles, but they keep getting stolen. Was it a lone thief in a mask with a long moustache that he was spinning around his finger? Or was it an employee, esp…
Read full storyDonald Trump Looking For A Gregory Peck Or Spencer Tracy Lawyer For His Defense
Thinking himself as innocent as a mockingbird, Donald Trump knew he needed a super attorney for his defense, and that a Rudolph Giuliani-type lawyer was not it. He needed a Spencer Tracy or Gregory Peck type to swing him out of a guilty verdict. H…
Read full storyWhataburger Is The Nation's First Fast Food Restaurant To Add Valet Parking
CHICAGO - (Fast Food Satire) - The Cloud 9 News Agency has just broken the story that Whataburger Inc. has become America's first fast food restaurant to add valet parking. Lexi Aspen, with Cloud 9, notes that Whataburgers are so good that even ex…
Read full storyPresident Putin Arrested And He's Taken Into Custody Of A Group Of Clowns
MOSCOW - (Spoof News) - The Kremlin Voice has just announced that the Russian president Vladimir Nikita Putin has been taken into custody by a group of clowns. Sources say that the clowns snuck into the Kremlin disguised as caterers and lured Puti…
Read full storyTrump Is Practicing Opening His Mouth Nice and Wide For When He Goes To Prison and He Comes Face-To-Face With The Horny Inmates
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Trump was in "The Big Apple" visiting the young son that calls him 'my sperm donor daddy' (Barron). While in the city that never sleeps he was asked by a reporter for The New York Sunshine Observer if he was ready t…
Read full storyPutski's Pickle: Putin's Plot to Pilfer the Planet's Produce and Punch!
The despised world dictator, Vladimir Putin, also known as "Putski," was caught attempting to steal all the world's vodka and cabbage. Sources close to Putin reveal that the Russian Autocrat fled the Kremlin in high heels and a pink tutu while sc…
Read full storyTrump Proposes to Marjorie Taylor Greene, Claims Third Time's a Charm
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Marjorie Taylor Greene has revealed that Don "The Con" Trump has asked her to marry him. She says she replied, "But did you forget that you're already married to that hairpiece on your head?" Trump semi-quippe…
Read full storyAfghanistan To Send 700 Adult Camels To Russia In Exchange For Fancy Circus Gear And Top Vodka
KABUL, Afghanistan - (Spoof Satire) - The Sandstone News Agency reports that Afghanistan and Russia have finalized plans on a superb trade that will benefit both countries (but mostly Afghanistan). According to a rep for Sandstone, Afghani Preside…
Read full storyIsis Hitman Captured At Heathrow Airport
LONDON - (Satire News) - The BBC reports that Scotland Yard has just captured one of the most infamous terrorist clowns in the world, Yasim Feem Lala, 37. He was captured as he tried to board an Air Switzerland plane that was bound for North Dakot…
Read full storyColorado Has The Nation's First Pot/Pizza Food Truck
ROACH CLIP CREEK, Colorado - (Satire News) - Billy Beepweather had an unusual dream ever since he was a senior at Rocky Mountain High School. He wanted to open a dispensary that not only sold weed, but also served pizza. Fast forward to today and…
Read full storyThe Chinese Trojan Horse is Whispering Its Indigestion
There are Chinese police stations in the USA, Canada and Britain. Do these countries have their police in China? These police are on the hunt to threaten any Chinese people in those “foreign devil” nations that if they don’t play ball (or maybe,…
Read full storyMcDonalds Is Adding Gender Neutral Bathrooms
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - Taking a cue from some European countries, McDonalds will soon be adding unisex bathrooms. Mickey D executives stated that by installing gender neutral bathrooms it will cut down from having to clean and maintain two bath…
Read full storyJ.Lo and Willie Nelson Pen A New Song About Their Wild Night
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - J.Lo, who at the age of 53, can still turn heads quicker than most female celebrities who are half her age - even when fully clothed. Jenny from the Block has a stunningly beautiful figure, with an erotically fine derri…
Read full storyThe Taliban Has Joined Ukraine In It's Fight Against The Evil Russian Empire
IZYUM, Ukraine - (Spoof News) - The president of Afghanistan Abu Taboo Fashu has just informed the world media that the Taliban 7th Infantry Regiment has landed in Izyum, and they are preparing to attack Putin's military forces which occupy the city,…
Read full storyStormy Daniels Is Extremely Thrilled That Trump Is Finally Going To Prison
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - One of the writers for Daily Drama, Cinderella St. Lamb says that there is no one in America who is happier that the goofy, talkative, lying fella is FINALLY going to have his big, puffy, butt sitting in Sing Sing Pris…
Read full storyBRAZIL WAX NOW: 10,000 Trenton Women Rallying to Make Men the Only Waxers
NEWS FLASH: Trenton, New Jersey, 9:23 a.m. EST. Our on-site reporter is keeping our news desk on the Delaware River in Washington's Crossing constantly updated about this volatile situation. Right now, we are bringing this news to our readers simu…
Read full storyTable of women approached by four different men
In a crowded pub in Mithering on the Trent, Tracey and Sharon, along with three of their mates, were out for a good night of drinking wine and talking about life when their good time was spoiled by four different men approaching their table. "It h…
Read full storyThe Sizzlingly Sexy Holly Sonders Is Turning Heads On The Golf Course
AUGUSTA, Georgia - (Sports Spoof) - The latest edition of Golf Guide Illustrated Magazine features the sensational golfer Holly Sonders. The stunning golfer is causing a stir in the world of the little bitty dimpled ball. The 36-year-old beauty…
Read full storyTrump is Suing The FBI For $7.2 Billion
MAR-A-LUNACY - (Satire News) - In a shocking turn of events, former president and self-proclaimed king of burgers, Donald "The Chump" Trump, has announced that he's been traumatized by the recent FBI raid on his Mar-a-Lunacy complex. According to…
Read full storyA List of 10 Things About Mick Jagger of The Rolling Stones
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Tambourine Times Magazine editor Tabasco Pistolero has compiled a list of facts about Mick Jagger, the lead singer with the Rolling Stones. Mick is 79-years-old, but apparently no one has told him because he still jump…
Read full storyA List of The Top Space Alien Motion Pictures of All-Time
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - The director of the QuinniPinni Polling Agency, Derek Waterwell had his employees poll 37,208 space fanatics and they were asked to pick their all-time favorite space alien movies. Here are the results... The Top Spa…
Read full storyNext Year March Madness May Become May Madness
LAS VEGAS - (Sports Satire) - The March Madness Rules & Policy Committee has announced that they will be renaming the national basketball extravaganza to The Spring Fling Slam Dunk-a-thon. A representative for the NCAA organization stated that…
Read full storyXi Didn’t Watch the Oscars, Made Himself Head Dick for a 3rd Time Instead
Old Xi Jinping is at it again. Like Putin, Xi hates when he’s NOT the center of attention. Putin took off his shirt and rode a horse, but Xi won’t take his shirt off for anyone and no horse can hold his weight. (Fat joke! So low! Like the horse’s bac…
Read full storySmall Child who can't swear at home or school, swearing at his grandparents
Four-year-old Joshua Atkinson from Mithering on the Trent has been told off for swearing at school and in front of his parents, so he has decided that he will swear for his grandparents this weekend instead. "So, I said '****' at school, and Ms. H…
Read full storyLiberal Democrats poking their noses in again
Although you barely remember their names or faces, Liberal Democrats have been popping up all over your little city now that local elections are taking place. Group members, not evil enough to join the Conservatives or not sensitive enough for Lab…
Read full storyThe McDonalds Corporation Has Just Announced That Their New and Improved Rainbow Ketchup Is The Best In The Fast Food Industry
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - The McDonalds Corporation is always trying to stay steps ahead of the competition. And in that vein they have just announced that they are now introducing their new and improved Rainbow Ketchup, which has no calories, no sod…
Read full storyThe Reason Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood's Marriage Is Headed For The Dumpster
TULSA, Oklahoma - (Satire News) - The harmonica player in Garth Brooks band has made it known that the once-happy country couple is now a not-so-happy country pair. Harmonica player Noreen "Legs" Butterhouse, told Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine writer Buc…
Read full storyPresident Biden Vows To Bomb North Korea If Kim Jong-un Doesn't Stop His Missile-Launching-Over-Japan Shit!
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, has acknowledged that President Biden is fed up with the fat Asian Pillsbury doughboy, Kim Jong-un. POTUS has warned the little tub of fat cells that he had better…
Read full storyThe FBI Has Just Announced That Donald Trump and Alex Murdaugh Will Be Cellmates At Sing Sing Federal Prison
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - In a very surprising announcement the FBI has just informed the news media that two pieces of baboon shit (aka Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump and Alexander Beverly Murdaugh) will be sharing a jail cell at the infamou…
Read full storyKing Charles III Rejects Visit With Son Harry
After Harry called King Charles III's wife, the Queen Consort Camilla, dangerous and like an evil stepmother in his book Spare, King Charles III said he was too busy to visit with his son Harry during Harry’s surprise visit to London as part of Harry…
Read full storyA Professional Female Wrestler Is Arrested For Causing Extreme Havoc Inside a Jack In The Box Restaurant
TULSA, Oklahoma - (Sports Satire) - An up and coming female wrestler from Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, has been arrested and charged with using very lewd language and extremely disorderly conduct while inside a Jack in the Box fast food restaurant. The…
Read full storyGovernment thinking about Privatising Gravity
Strapped for cash, a political party peopled with a few billionaires is thinking that they might have to privatise Gravity in order to balance the books. The naturally occurring phenomenon is useful for keeping things close to the ground and would…
Read full storyThe Reason Why Arkansas A&M University Has Been Disqualified From Entering The March Madness Tournament
SACRAMENTO, California - (Sports Satire) - Word out of the March Madness Tournament is that Arkansas A&M University has been disqualified from the national tournament. Sportsapalooza reporter Pia Confetti said that four of the Arkansas A&M…
Read full storyMelania and Stormy Agree: Trump's Bedroom Skills as Real as Tooth Fairy
MANHATTAN - (Satire News) - Melania Trump and Stormy Daniels both agree that on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being high and 1 being low, "Baby Fingers" Trump barely registers a 1, and that he's not exactly a champion in the "wink-wink" department.
Read full storyMexico's Federal Ministerial Police Has Captured Al-Qaeda's Notorious Terrorist Shin Su Shaker
VACAVILLE, Mexico - (Satire News) - Mexico is proud to report that their federal police have just captured Shin Su Shaker, a notorious Al-Qaeda terrorist. The hate-filled terrorist was captured as he took a pee in an alley behind one of Vacaville'…
Read full storyDeSantis’s Draft Letter Requests Asking Permission For Novak Djokovic To Play At Miami Open
“Dear Mr. President…” No, no, no. Way too respectful... “To Joe Biden…” No. Still too considerate… “To Uncle Joe, perveyer of all things woke and unnecessary, as they become a national cancer to the American Patriot psyche…” Yes, that’s it. {No…
Read full storyOld people remembering the snow they had in their youth
Old man Walter McKinley was today complaining about how the school down his road had been closed after a measly two inches of snow had fallen. The 87-year-old, who has lived in Mithering on the Trent for the past 59 years, and is seen as a local c…
Read full storyA High School Cheerleader In Texas Can Do Cheers In 13 Different Languages
GALVESTON, Texas - (Sports Spoof) - Sportsapalooza writer Pia Confetti recently stumbled upon an extraordinary high school cheerleader. Meet Paris Boochee, aka "The Rah Rah Girl". At only 17 years old, Paris can cheer on her team, The Nolan Ryan R…
Read full storyWisconsin Admits That They Have A Very Serious Cheese Shortage
CHEESE OMELETTE, Wisconsin - (Satire News) - The iNews News Agency has just broken the story that the Cheese Capital of The World, is running out of cheese. A spokesperson for The Wisconsin Cheese Coalition (WCC) has finally admitted that the stat…
Read full storyMafia Crime Boss Salvatore Goombalini Assures New Yorkers That Unlike Several US Banks, His Bank Is 110% Solid
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Salvatore Goombalini, who is the head of the biggest crime syndicate in the entire nation, has just issued a statement, stating that he wants anyone who has money in his 'family's' bank, to rest assured that unlike oth…
Read full storyKim Kardashian and Her Sisters Travel To Tijuana, Mexico, To See Her Fabulous Bullfighter Boyfriend In Action
TIJUANA, Mexico - (Sports Satire) - Word from the Kardashian Klan is that Kim is happier than an anteater smack dab in the middle of a huge ant bed. And according to Tittle Tattle Tonight writer Pico de Gallo, it's because Kimmy's new boyfriend is…
Read full storyColorado Is Importing Pot From Baja California
DENVER - (Satire News) - Word coming out of the Rocky Mountain State, is that the square-looking state is now importing marijuana from Baja California. A spokesperson for Gov. Jared Polis, stated that due to last year's summer drought, and the sub…
Read full storyCould Prince Harry Apply For US Unemployment Benefits?
Married to a US citizen, could Prince Harry apply for US unemployment benefits? If so, it’s a good guess, but he’d certainly have to drop the title of Prince. Instead, he would be just Harry Windsor Mountbatten. Hmmm, that still sounds a little title…
Read full storyKanye West's New Hitler Album
In an exclusive scoop, we'd like to present some information on the new Kanye West album. First off, the artist is going by his full name of Kanye West again, apparently because it's a more recognizable brand name. Next, it appears that the album…
Read full storyDallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Releases Running Back Ezekiel Elliott
DALLAS - (Satire News) - Sports Balls Illustrated Daily writer Dottie Bazooka says she recently talked to Cowboys owner Jerry Jones at a Whataburger in Dallas about the future of his star running back Ezekiel Elliott. Dottie noted that the octogen…
Read full storyHugh Grant's Cumberbund
Recently formed avant-garde jazz band, Hugh Grant's Cumberbund have announced that their first performance will happen at Mithering on the Trent's The Wet Sprocket Pub on May 24th. The pub's landlady, Tracey Brassingthwaite said 'I heard the band'…
Read full storyA Very Sexy Transgender Hooters Girl Says That Marjorie Taylor Greene Texts Her At Least a Dozen Times a Day
SAN FRANCISCO - (Satire News) - An attractive Hooters girl, who was born a boy, has informed Bedroom Pillow Talk, that Marjorie Taylor Greene has become obsessed and infatuated with her since seeing her on the "Tonight Show." Cordelia Figgatini, 2…
Read full storyIsraelis discover Hitler's head; rush to Jerusalem for analysis
A group of young Israelis on sabbatical from their Negev kibbutz stumbled across a vat in the Tyrol with Hitler's head preserved in Riesling. They contacted Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's office in Tel Aviv and were immediately referred to his t…
Read full storyCocaine Is Found Inside a Shipment of Maracas From Mexico
EL PASO, Texas - (Satire News) - US Customs agents have seized an 18-wheeler truck with Iowa license plates at the Cesar Chavez Commemorative Bridge that was transporting an illegal drug. The drug was "Sinaloan Smooth" cocaine, and it was found in…
Read full storyJust Like One of The Gangs In "West Side Story" Aaron Rodgers Is Going To Become a (New York) Jet
NEW YORK CITY - (Sports Satire) - The soon-not-to-be Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers flew into "The Big Apple" and met with the owner of the New York Jets, Robert Wood "Woody" Johnson IV. Johnson IV, has expressed an interest in signin…
Read full storyThe Song "Stormy" By The Classics IV, Is Back On The Music Chart After 54 Years Thanks To Stormy Daniels Renewed Popularity
LOS ANGELES - (Satire News) - Who could forget the timeless hit "Stormy" by the band The Classics IV, that rocked the airwaves in 1968? Thanks to the resurgence of Donald J. Erasmus Trump's funtime friend, Stormy Daniels, the song is back on the char…
Read full storyThe Whataburger Food Truck Is A Fantastic Success
EAGLE PASS, Texas - (Satire News) - Whataburger is the first fast food franchise to have a traveling food truck. The Whataburger truck is based in the Texas border town of Eagle Pass, which is right across the river from Piedras Negras, Mexico, wh…
Read full storyA Female Catcher Tries Out For The World Champion Houston Astros
HOUSTON - (Sports Satire) - The Houston Astros organization reports that a female catcher, who stands 6-foot-6-inches tall and who weighs 286, has been given a tryout with the world champion Houston Astros. The catcher was born and bred in Tampico…
Read full storyAll of Putin's Critics Have Fallen out of Windows in Last Few years - 'Putinphilia'
All of Putin's critics have fallen or jumped out of windows in the last few years. Specialists don't know if they were physically encouraged to jump by Putin's followers - or did it on their own. Psychiatrists theorize it is a new mental cond…
Read full storyStrip Club Owner Bans 'Pour Some Sugar On Me"
The owner of a strip club in, yes, you guessed it... Florida, has heard the Def Leppard hit, Pour Some Sugar On Me, one too many times, and has officially banned the song from being played by any of the strippers in his club—no matter how hot they ar…
Read full storyTrump's Stunningly Sexy Out of Wedlock Daughter Surfaces In California
CALEXICO, California - (Satire News) - Alpha Beta News Agency writer Mimosa Sabrosa, has just broken the story about a pole dancer in Calexico, who alleges that she is the illegitimate daughter of Donald Trump. The extremely attractive, young wom…
Read full storyA Trump Body-Double To Do Perp-Walk And Stand Trial For Trump
Like Jeffrey Epstein’s body-double, Donald Trump also has a body-double that he’s been fattening up to use for his perp-walk. Maurice, the body-double’s name, will also serve any prison time Trump may be sentenced to serve. While the Secret Servic…
Read full storyBritney Spears Adopts Twin Girls From Kenya
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - The "Oops!...I Did It Again" singer has just announced that she has adopted two little Kenyan girls named Liona and Pantera. Britney, who has six kids already from four different husbands, boyfriends, and lovers, said t…
Read full storyThe Chicago Bears Fans Want The Owners To Change The Team Name
CHICAGO - (Sports Satire) - Some of the most fickle and unforgiving fans in the NFL are the fans of the Chicago Bears. The season ticket holders recently voted, by a vote of 12,942 to 803 to change the name of the lowly (3-14) Bears. One long-t…
Read full storyA Very Desperate Donald Trump Opens Up a Thift Shop To Pay For His Millions of Dollars in Attorney Fees
QUACK QUACK, Alabama - (Satire News) - BuzzFuzz reporter Taffeta Kixx has just broken the story that Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump, the self-proclaimed billionaire, is in desperate need of funds to pay his "bigly" lawyer's fees. Trump's one and on…
Read full storyTrump’s Albino Raccoon Hairpiece Subpoenaed: Manhattan Grand Jury To Question
BILLINGSGATE POST: After a day’s recess, the Manhattan grand jury requested that the albino raccoon hairpiece that was given to Mr. Trump by Vladimir Putin be subpoenaed. The controversial hairpiece was thought to be wired directly to the President’…
Read full storyAfter A Tremendous Groundswell From The American People President Biden Declares Donald Trump a Persona Non Grata
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Biden has stated that the "Douche Bag" who occupied the White House before him, and spent most of his time eating cheeseburgers and tweeting, will soon be officially designated a "Persona Non-Grata." Ac…
Read full storyPutin Rick-rolled by his own marching band at military parade ceremony
In a shocking turn of events at a recent military parade ceremony in Moscow, Vladimir Putin, the Russian dictator, was apparently trolled by his own marching band. According to reports, the band suddenly switched from playing traditional Russian…
Read full storyPutin Is Puttin’ On The Ritz
Vlad Putin has a black belt in judo (the martial art that involves lots of hugging – not gay, we swear), but his awesome fighting technique hasn’t been able to kill all his enemies. So he’s taken to dance! Putin has enrolled in tap dancing with a…
Read full storyAn El Paso, Texas Bakery Sells Donuts, Turnovers, Semi Automatic Rifles, Handguns, and Grenade Launchers
EL PASO, Texas - (Satire News) - Move over Dunkin' Donuts, there's a new bakery in town that's armed and delicious! Meet "Pastries, Pistols, and Pump Action Shotguns," the first bakery in the nation to sell donuts, bullets, beer, and even deadly weap…
Read full storyA List of 10 Tweets From Marjorie Taylor Greene
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Spoof News) - Marjorie Taylor Greene is considered by many Republicans to be a very sexy and erotic woman. The Democrats, on the other hand, regard her as the female Ted "Dracula" Cruz, except that she is not from Guatemala li…
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