PENSACOLA, Florida - (Satire News) - The fat ass that has ballooned up to 367¼ pounds (none other than Trump) has decided that he needs to get a damn tummy tuck because when he stands naked in the shower he cannot see his little bitty binky (dick) or his tiny itsy bitsy gonads (balls).
So Comrade Fat Stomach finally went in to get an estimate on the belly fat removing procedure.
And Ivanka's sperm donor daddy was shocked as shit to learn that the cost of the tummy tuck would be $17,850 plus tax.
Trump yelled that he was once a very important son-of-a-bitch, who only lied 30,000 times because Sean Hannity told him that it would piss off the Democrats, which he loved to do.
SIDENOTE: So it appears that El Estupido (The Stupid One), as he is known in East L.A. as well as in all of Central America and South America, will most probably just stay as fat as a damn, fucking volcano.