CHICAGO - (Satire News) - The McDonalds Corporation is always trying to stay steps ahead of the competition. And in that vein they have just announced that they are now introducing their new and improved Rainbow Ketchup, which has no calories, no sodium, no carbs, and only .1 gram of reconstituted logistical fructose.
Mickey D's says that in the interest of appealing to the gay and lesbionic masses, their new ketchup will come in an array of rainbow colors including prissy pink, prancing purple, swishing orange, lisping lavender, and booty blue.
A spokesperson for McDonalds has divulged that the new Rainbow Ketchup will be available in every state except for Alabama, which has stated that they do not recognize gays and lesbionics in any way, shape, or form. ■